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Tears started to her eyes. He was leaving her. He was remembering his brother and feeling his guilt about Kyle. She was sure about that now. Devyn blamed himself for his brother’s death and somehow that meant he couldn’t be with her.
She wished now nothing about the coffee shop kiss had intruded into their lovemaking. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
He shifted to sit on the side of the bed, his head in his hands. “Oh, Goddess, Em, what have we done?”
“Are you sure that’s the right question?” She needed him to really think about his feelings for her. Yet, given the level of his guilty feelings, she wasn’t sure he ever could.
~ ~ ~
Devyn hadn’t thought of his brother once in the past hour. Had to be a record.
Being reminded of the first time he’d kissed Emily, in the coffee shop, cut him deep. He would never forget what it had felt like to be embraced with all that extraordinary affection. Emily had been so free, so unabashed, when she’d grabbed him and kissed him.
On some level, of course he’d known she thought he was Kyle.
Of course.
But for a few seconds, life had laid down a complete layer of contentment to his existence, something so extraordinary he’d wanted to hold onto her forever. To this day, he couldn’t explain why kissing Emily had affected him so powerfully.
What he did know was he could never give himself to her fully. She was and would always be Kyle’s woman. Even though she’d intended on breaking up with him, it didn’t matter.
Emily had loved Kyle and shared the same bed with him for years. Devyn had been a mere o
nlooker, a voyeur at times. How often had he watched them together, wished he could take Kyle’s place. There had been times when his brother’s behavior had appalled Devyn.
Shortly after their engagement, Kyle had taken Emily out on the lake near Boylbury, in a small rowboat. She’d sat pretty stiff and unhappy the entire time.
Kyle had jokingly railed at her. The woman could levitate. Why was she afraid?
But fears were often irrational. Kyle, with his habitual insensitivity kept extending their time on the water and Emily kept enduring it. How many times had Devyn wanted to fly out, pick her up and carry her to shore.
Emily had finally called a halt. Kyle had been furious, though they’d been on the water doing little more than turning in circles for three hours.
“If I haven’t proven myself, Kyle, I never will. I don’t like the water. I saw a drowned elven child once. It was enough.”
“You need to get over it. No future wife of mine will be afraid of swimming of all things. Hell, you could launch out of the water with your levitation skills alone.”
Emily had sighed. “I don’t want to fight about this, Kyle.” It had sounded like an old argument. In how many other ways had Kyle told her she hadn’t measured up?
“We’re going out on the lake tomorrow.”
“No, Kyle. I’m not doing it.”
Kyle had started yelling, saying terrible things to Emily. In hindsight, Devyn realized Kyle must have already started sleeping around.
When Emily started shouting back, Devyn had left. He’d known only one thing in that moment. His brother was throwing away the best woman he would ever know. Then he’d died after making promises he would do better because he knew Emily’s worth.
Maybe because Kyle was his twin, but Devyn couldn’t be with his woman. He wasn’t even sure what kind of madness had taken him over that he’d actually just had sex with her.
He rose from the bed without saying anything more then headed to the bathroom. Once there, he turned the water on in the walk-in shower. Maybe hot water on his body would ease away some of his distress.
As he soaped up, he took deep breaths and began ordering his mind and his future steps. He would make it clear he could never see her again.
She didn’t have to understand. This was his decision.
He scrubbed his body hard. He needed to get rid of her scent because he could still smell it on his skin. He soaped and rinsed again. But when he held his arm up to his nose, dammit if her scent wasn’t still on him.
What had she done? Was this some kind of fae thing that she could make his skin keep smelling like wildflowers?
