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Yes, tonight, after he fell asleep, she would sneak away and leave him to return to his normal life.
He had told her today, as they had talked eagerly, that he was well enough now to return to his people. He did not want to worry them unnecessarily.
His temperature was gone and the red spots were fading on his skin.
Yes, he had fought and won the battle with measles. He was free to return home and resume his duties as chief.
He had even confided in Nicole that he had not felt completely comfortable leaving his younger brother in charge.
He knew that his brother was power-hungry and would cherish these moments of leadership. He might enjoy them so much that he would wish to remain the Owl Clan’s chief.
Those words made Nicole shiver. Would his brother want Eagle Wolf out of his life permanently?
“The meat is delicious,” Nicole finally blurted out, having found herself once again immersed in disturbing thoughts.
But that had been the way the latter part of the day had been as they both tried to accept the fact that the instant attraction between them could lead nowhere.
They had not yet talked about how they would say good-bye and mean it.
She had decided that farewells would be too painful. After Eagle Wolf went to bed tonight, she would only pretend to fall asleep. She would slip away into the night while he lay asleep, thinking she would be there in the morning when he awakened.
“You have been so quiet,” Eagle Wolf said, searching Nicole’s eyes. “Even more so than usual. What have you been thinking about so hard?”
“Things I shouldn’t,” Nicole said, hoping he would suppose that she meant the massacre.
Oh, how could she leave?
Did she have the courage to sneak away into the night, feeling that she was leaving someone who might be her soul mate?
She believed she was born to be with him. It was obvious how they felt about each other as they talked and as they looked deeply into each other’s eyes. If one of them accidentally brushed a hand against the flesh of the other, it was as though they had touched heaven!
“You will never be able to forget what happened to your parents,” Eagle Wolf said, leaning toward the fire and dropping a bone into its flames. “But the memories will become less hurtful as time goes on.”
He relaxed again beside the fire, his stomach full. “In my time, I have seen too many die who should still be living and enjoying their families,” he continued. “It never gets easier to witness death. But eventually some peace enters your heart so that you can go on with your life. My people’s Great Spirit has always helped us through heartache, and given us the strength to accept that which caused the heartache. In time, you will think about your parents and only remember the good, not the bad. When you see them in your dreams, or your mind’s eye, you will see them smiling back at you. Know, always, they are with you even when you cannot see them.”
He placed a hand over his heart. “It is here, in your heart, that they will always remain,” he said thickly. “As long as your heart beats and you have an ounce of breath in you, they, too, still exist. That is what sustains us, knowing that we hold within us someone dear who may have passed on to the other side physically, yet spiritually remains still in the heart. Your parents will always be there to reach for so you still feel loved.”
“That is such a beautiful way to think about it,” Nicole said, marveling anew at this man’s ability to make her feel better about herself and her life.
She had felt such emptiness when she thought of how her parents had died. Now this wonderful man had explained to her how that emptiness could be filled with love and precious memories.
“I am telling you what I was told when I lost someone precious to me when I was a child,” Eagle Wolf said thickly. “It was a sister who died. In age, she came between myself and my brother. My sister left this world when she was only seven winters of age. She strayed too far from the safety circle of our people and lost her footing at the edge of a bluff. The entire village searched and searched for her when it was discovered that she had wandered from the village, alone. It was I who looked down from that bluff and saw her lying there so quiet…so…dead…so broken.”
“How horrible,” Nicole gasped. “You were too young to experience such a terrible thing as that. I am so sorry, Eagle Wolf. So very sorry.”
He smiled and placed his hand over his heart once again. “Remember? My sister is not gone,” he said softly. “She is here. I can feel her. I can see her. She is always with me, to make my day brighter. When I lay so ill with fever, she was there stroking my brow with a soft, cool cloth. I was too weak to awaken and thank her.”
Nicole’s eyes widened, for he had just described how she had sat there while he was unconscious with the worst of his fever. She herself had stroked his brow with the cool water she had brought from the stream.
She saw now how he might have believed that his sister had done this, for Nicole knew there was a part of Eagle Wolf that wanted it to be his sister.
“You can bring your parents into your mind’s eye however you wish to see them, and I know that you want to see them the way you remember them before the tragedy struck,” Eagle Wolf said, nodding. “Is that not so?”
“Yes, it is,” Nicole murmured.
An owl hooting from somewhere in the shadows interrupted their conversation, causing them both to look in that direction.
“Voices in the night that I am familiar with,” Eagle Wolf said, laughing softly. “And I believe that voice is telling me it is time for us to go to our blankets. Tomorrow is not so far away.”
