Page 21 of Wild Abandon


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ent, then might return to the river, Dancing Cloud turned and swam quickly to the other side.

When he pulled himself out of the water only then did he remember that he was nude. Lauralee’s eyes were wide as she stared at him. Then she dropped his rifle to the ground and turned and ran away from him, screaming.

When Lauralee reached the campsite she struggled to regain her normal breathing. She tremored and hugged herself as she stood over the fire, staring into the dancing flames. Seeing Dancing Cloud standing there nude had sent hideous remembrances of the soldier standing nude before her mother . . . of the soldier throwing her mother to the ground . . . of the soldier mounting her mother, her mother’s screams even now echoing over and over again within Lauralee’s memory.

Warm hands gripping her shoulders made Lauralee come back to reality. Dancing Cloud turned her to face him. She was glad that he had taken the time to get dressed. Now she was a little more relaxed.

But if today was an example of how she would behave in the presence of a nude man, then her future with any man, even Dancing Cloud was bleak.

While working in the hospital, helping men who were ill, she had not reacted so strangely to their nudity. But a man who had his full strength and faculties was a different matter!

“You saved my life and then ran from me as though frightened of me,” Dancing Cloud said, his voice drawn. “Did my nudity frighten you? I was so anxious to thank you for what you did that I forgot I had no clothes on.”

His dark eyes searched hers. “Was my body so ugly to you?” he asked sullenly. “Is that why you reacted so strangely to it? Or is it something else? You can confide in me.”

Whispers and sighs of the wind feathered through the trees. Birds were awakening with their cheerful chatter. Squirrels were scampering overhead on limbs.

Everything was beautiful and innocent this morning, except for Lauralee’s memories, which clung to her like glue.

Always the steel-blue eyes of her mother’s rapist appeared, reminding her of what men could do to women.

It was hard to replace in her heart those moments when she had witnessed such a sweet loving between her parents when her father had held her mother in his arms, and how he kissed her so gently.

That was what Lauralee wanted.

A sweet loving!

“Lauralee, if I frighten you this much how can we continue together?” Dancing Cloud insisted, his fingers tightening on her shoulders. He leaned down into her face. “Do you want me to leave? Although I promised your father that I would be your escort, I cannot do this if you are frightened of me.”

Panic seized Lauralee. She could not bear to continue the journey without Dancing Cloud. She could hardly bear to see the hurt that she had inflicted on him because of her inability to interact with him as a normal person might do. She saw herself as less than normal because of her inability to place her past totally behind her.

She had learned to live with such a disability until she had met Dancing Cloud. In him she had seen all that she ever wanted in a man.

Her body spoke to her in unknown ways when she was in his presence. But these natural hungers frightened her.

Yet, she could not bear to send him away. Somehow she had to find a way to overcome her past, of her fears of being with a man sexually.

Without further thought she wrenched herself free of his clasping fingers and flung herself into his arms.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her body racked with sobs. “I don’t want you to go.”

“But, Lauralee, the way you behaved only moments ago,” Dancing Cloud said, his heart throbbing over her closeness and the way she clung so desperately to him. “What was I to think?”

“I never meant to hurt you,” Lauralee sobbed. “It just happened.”

“Then you are not frightened of me?”

“Not you. Just of my feelings.”

“Because I was nude?”

“Yes.”

“Is my body unpleasant to look at?”

Lauralee eased somewhat away from him. “No,” she murmured. She wiped tears from her eyes as she gazed up at him. She felt that same familiar melting sensation that came with being so near him.

And his eyes.

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