AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He was staring at her, fist wrapped around a canning jar of honey, intense and expectant because she was supposed to be getting something.
“Okay.”
He set the jar down on the counter too hard. “Families are the same way. Everybody’s got some job to do, and sometimes something fucks that up. Maybe something good fucks it up, like one person figuring out they could be happier and moving to New York with their boyfriend. Or maybe something bad fucks it up, like their mom turns out to have been running around on their dad for a few decades, but the thing is, either way, they fall apart. Nobody’s happy—not a hundred percent. Nobody’s doing what they’re supposed to, and everybody’s confused and angry and hurt.”
Allie let out a long exhale. “And then…you move the hive?”
He shook his head. “You don’t move the hive. You’re just a fucking bee, in this scenario. The hive gets moved. It falls apart. It comes back together. It falls apart, and it comes back together. That’s the way of everything, except when people tell themselves it can’t be, or block up the hive entrance, or are too stupid to call the fucking beekeeper and ask for help.” He looked at his watch. “I’m leaving in twenty minutes, and before I do you’re going to come back out here from talking to your sister, and everything’s going to be fine. It’s ordinary. You’re just falling apart so you can come back together. Stop thinking you have to prove something and just be Allie, who’s May’s sister, who May loves for reasons that are never going to change and you don’t have to fix.”
Allie looked down the hall toward May’s closed door and set the last few bites of the apple down on her plate. When she breathed in, her chest felt bigger and her body felt lighter.
Things fell apart. Then they came back together again.
She could work with that.
Allie walked down the hall to claim her sister.
—
May hadn’t budged since Allie left the room. She looked up when Allie came in, and this time Allie wasn’t afraid of what she might be feeling or what she might say. May was her sister—her sister by blood, and more important, through a lifetime of shared experiences.
They belonged to each other, and right now Allie needed to belong to her sister more than she needed to feel sad or sorry about the mistakes she’d made.
Feeling sorry wouldn’t fix it. She actually, maybe, if Ben was right, wasn’t in fact in charge of fixing it.
She could just be Allie.
“This isn’t what I want,” she said. “Is this what you want?”
For a long moment May didn’t move. Then she shook her head.
“I didn’t think so. Come on, help me make the bed.” She started at the far end, snugg
ing the fitted sheet more tightly beneath its corner, then moving to the head to do the same. May stood and started doing the same on her end.
This had been one of their chores as kids. Every Saturday they’d stripped and remade the beds with clean linens from the cabinet, washed and dried the dirty sheets, and returned them to their places. Saturdays were for towels, too, and then for whatever outdoor chores Dad assigned them. Saturday nights were for ice cream after dinner, renting family movies, and popcorn.
They straightened the comforter together and tucked the pillows into pockets underneath. “When’s the last time you took a shower?”
“I don’t remember.”
Allie crossed to the dresser, rummaged around for underwear, shorts, and a T-shirt, and handed them to her sister. “You’re taking one now.”
“Don’t boss me.”
“Make it fast, because we only have twenty minutes.”
May sighed.
Allie shoved her toward the bathroom and followed her in, locking the door behind them. She turned on the shower and found the lukewarm temperature May liked. Then she put both hands on her sister’s shoulders and looked her in the eyes. “I’m going to sit on the toilet, and you’re going to shower while we talk. We have a lot to get done and not a lot of time to do it, because I don’t know where or exactly what’s going down on Saturday, but you need to be there with me when it happens.”
May’s lower lip wobbled the way it did when she got scared and wanted to cry. Allie watched her bite it and knew she could list a dozen times when she’d seen her sister bite down on her hurt in that exact way. Softball games, bad dates, Mom taking her shopping and making her feel fat.
She put her cheek against May’s cheek and said, “I love you, May. I love you, and I know I fucked up, but you’re my family and we’re going to do better. Now get in the shower.”
May undressed and got in.
Allie sat on the toilet seat. “I missed you.”
