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She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply.
“And what exactly is between you two?” I growled.
“Nothing!” Annie said.
Chase just raised his eyebrows. “It’s not nothing.”
“Fuck,” I growled as I stared between the two of them.
I’d spent the last week dealing with my mom’s cancer announcement. Between that, the soccer complex, and this friends-and-family event, I’d been swamped. No time for anything except work and how fucked up everything else was in my life. I’d been worried about Annie heading off to Seattle and what I’d do now that my mom was sick again. I’d rushed into the decision to move with her, and now consequences were coming up. But I hadn’t thought that Annie would find solace in someone else while I was figuring it all out.
Not until I’d seen Chase walk in that door and beeline straight for Annie. Not until Ashleigh had said that Chase had broken up with his girlfriend and he’d run right back to Annie. Then I hadn’t been able to see think about anything clearly. I needed to talk to Annie after all this was over, but I couldn’t stop myself from figuring out what the fuck had really happened. Ashleigh couldn’t be right, could she?
So, I asked the question I didn’t want the answer to, “Did you two hook up?”
Annie’s eyes rounded wider. “What?” she gasped. “No! Why would you even think that?”
“So, you didn’t go over to his house this week after he broke up with his girlfriend?”
She sputtered, “I did. But…”
“But what?” I snapped.
Chase chortled. “Oh, this is great.”
“Shut the fuck up,” I snarled at the same time as Annie did.
“Nothing happened,” Annie told me. “I went over to have pizza with a friend. I didn’t even know that he’d broken up with his girlfriend, and when I found out, I told him to go fuck himself and left.”
“Which is why you never mentioned it.”
She jolted back at the words. “Pray tell, when would I have told you?” she asked, anger seeping into her own words. “We haven’t spoken in a week, Jordan. You’ve been avoiding me.”
“I haven’t been avoiding you. I’ve been busy,” I reminded her. “Two businesses to run, remember? This has been hell week. And while I’ve been trying to deal with my own shit, you were going behind my back?”
“No! God, you are blowing this out of proportion. I didn’t tell you because I never saw you, and then I fucking handled it. So, I didn’t want to bother you with everything else going on and…your mom.”
“Do not bring her into this,” I said.
She held her hands up. Her eyes filling with her own brand of fury…laced in pain. “I’m not. I just…you’ve been acting all over the map since you found out.”
“Don’t,” I snarled.
Annie winced, taking a step back. “Fine. Either you believe me or you don’t. You haven’t been around. I was the one who tried to talk to you earlier and you all but ran away, Jordan. These are the facts: I told Chase to go fuck himself. I told him that I didn’t want what he was offering.”
“How exactly did you get into a position where he could offer?”
She straightened then, as if my words had hit home. “Don’t you dare try to victim-blame me. Chase is my best friend. I went to his house because he’s a friend. It is not my fault that he blindsided me with this shit. And you need to fucking stop and think about how your words are hurting people that you care about.”
“How do I know any of that is true?”
“Because you trust me!”
Chase chuckled behind us. “Jesus Christ, Annie, you’re really dating this guy? What a douche!”
I stood there, chest heaving, wanting nothing more than to take out my fury on him. The cool, calm that I’d cultivated for the last three years dissolved. I’d spent hours in the gym or running to try to keep that side of me down, down, down. Buried so deep that none of my new friends and family would ever have to meet him. I’d gotten a punching bag to release energy. I’d started weight lifting, so I was too tired to feel the fury. I’d run and run and run until the anger was silenced. It had always felt like a dragon curling around my center, and if I didn’t feed it, it would take over. My father was the same way. He’d taken it out on us. He’d taken it out on Mom. He’d taken it out on anyone unsuspecting of his writhing anger.
And I didn’t want to be my dad, but fuck…it was all a goddamn mess. I was a mess.
My mom. Work. The party. Annie. Chase.
It was too much. Too much at once. I couldn’t think around the atomic bomb settling in my chest. The feeling of watching from the inside as my life went up in a mushroom cloud of shit.
