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When I arrived, Natalie was there. Damn she was beautiful. She too was dressed casually and blissfully covered up. Her top fit against her curves, hinting at what lay beneath. I slid next to her because I didn’t want the love doctor to play handsy with my girl under the table.
“Hey,” I greeted. She looked at me almost surprised as if she’d been deep in thought. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just got off the phone with my mom.”
“Is she still sick?”
“No-Yes. I mean she’s got a lung infection, but it’s being treated. I don’t know. I feel guilty about not being there.”
I covered her hand with mine and squeezed. “You said it’s being treated. I’m sure it’s fine.”
She granted me a half smile when the love doctor arrived. She pulled her hand away and I hated him for it.
He stood next to the table as if he expected me to get up and let him sit next to her. I didn’t move. Finally, he sat across from her.
“You look nice,” he said.
“Thanks.” I plucked at the corners of my flannel shirt. “It’s my favorite.”
Natalie burst out laughing, which had been the goal. I didn’t want her to be down. I ignored the love doctor’s smile.
“I should formally introduce you. Liam, this is Brian. Brian, this is Liam.”
He reached his hand across the table. I eyed it like it was slime. “Yes, I think not. This virus and, besides, aren’t you a pussy doctor?” I said it for shock value. I wanted to push his buttons and see how he would react.
Natalie’s eyes grew. “Liam,” she admonished.
“Okay, gyno or something like that,” I said.
“I’m an obstetrician. And the correct term is vagina. In actuality, in most cases a vagina is more sanitary than the average mouth or even a belly button. Also, I should note, that we’re required to cleanse after every exam and procedure. My hands are clean.” He held them up for show.
“Thanks, doc,” I said, but made no move to go for a handshake. “I do have another question.”
He appeared weary but said, “Go ahead.”
“How can you tell a good pussy—uph,” I said, when Natalie elbowed me. “Um, a good vagina versus a bad one?”
When the auburn nurse appeared at the table, I remembered Natalie hadn’t given me her name. I turned in Natalie’s direction and implored her with my eyes to tell me her name.
“Christy,” she whispered under her breath.
Before I looked up at the newcomer, I caught Doc Love eyeing Natalie and me. I didn’t waste time with an explanation and said, “Christy.”
A smile spread across her face from ear to ear. “Liam.” Then she took the empty seat next to the doc. “What are we talking about?”
The doc jumped in, probably to head off anything crude I might have said.
“Liam wants information about the inner workings of a vagina. Seems he didn’t get the bird and bees talk as a child.”
I chuckled and pointed at the doc. “Good one.” He didn’t exactly grin, but there was a pleased expression on his face. “Believe me, Christy, I know my way around a pussy. Just ask Natalie,” I admitted.
Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have said that last bit, but it slipped out. It did get the desired result by wiping the self-satisfaction off the doc’s face as the women gaped.
Christy said, “You two?”
Natalie was quick to say, “He’s being funny,” which wasn’t exactly a lie. “We did try to date but decided very quickly to just be friends.”
I didn’t correct her because that would have been a total dick move. “Doc, are you going to answer?” I asked, switching subjects.
“Sure,” he said, reminded of my earlier question about good and bad pussy. “It’s a matter of perspective. Some men would prefer a shorter vagina, others need a longer one.”
“What do you need?’ I asked, baiting him.
“It’s not any of your business, is it? That would be something between my partner and me. I have nothing to prove to you tonight,” the doc said.
“I have nothing to prove to Natalie either,” I said.
“That’s enough,” Natalie said, holding up her hand. She turned to me. “Maybe you should go.”
I shrugged and faced Christy. “Change of venue?”
She flashed me a grin without the same effect Natalie’s had on me. “We can go to my place. Though I have to warn you, if you drove, parking can be impossible.”
“Maybe tonight’s our night,” I said, giving her a wink.
Before I left, I said to Natalie. “I think babies are in your future.”
It took her a second to connect my cryptic message to our conversation earlier about wingman responsibilities. I’d greenlighted the doc. He’d passed my test.
She said, “I can’t be sure about you.”
“I’m good,” I told her and gave the doc a two-finger salute. “Nice meeting you. Take care of Natalie. She’s special. Don’t fuck it up.”
