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“Juliette—”
I’d sworn after that botched apology that I was going to let go of Juliette. In my mind. My heart. I was going to just let this end because I couldn’t stand it anymore. Being hated by her tore the skin from my bones. And I couldn’t change what I did.
But I couldn’t watch her in pain and not feel it. Not try and make it better.
Fuck. I just want to hold her.
Finally, she turned with a slicing smile and over-bright eyes that didn’t fool me for a minute.
“Oh, Jules—” I reached for her but she lifted her hand, her eyes blazing, and I stopped, the motion unfulfilled.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“I have no clue,” she said, jerking her shoulders. “No idea. I won’t lose my job, but that hardly matters if those two get split up.”
“You’ve done everything you can,” I said.
“Really? Because right now, it seems all I’ve done is broken the law, several times. Kept Miguel and his sister in a dangerous home environment, trusted them to your keeping…”
I backed up. This again. I shouldn’t have baited her the other day. That dirty little secret thing had just made things worse and I didn’t want that. We were on the same team when it came to those kids and I just kept antagonizing Juliette.
Not that I didn’t deserve it, but still. I was trying to be a better man.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “You don’t deserve that. You’ve been…great. Better than—”
“You could expect?” I smiled to make it a joke but she wasn’t laughing.
“Better than anyone else would have been. And more important, you stepped in, when no one else would.”
“I was just trying to get into your pants,” I said with a shrug. “Hasn’t worked.”
Her laugh sounded like it was escaping a choke hold and then, suddenly, it was that laugh of hers I remembered. Like standing under a cool shower on a hot day.
Danger, I thought, but I couldn’t back away if I had to. Juliette laughing. She was no longer the cold stranger; she was the girl I loved—the girl who had loved me. Her laughter was a revelation and it had been so long.
“You stepped in, when that kid had no one,” I said, feeling a sudden swell of warmth for this woman. For her brave face and all her heart.
I love you, I thought. I always have. I always will.
“Well, I don’t think I did him any favors.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because Nora Sullivan tore me a new one in my office ten minutes ago,” she said, and then shook her head. “Let’s…let’s talk about something else. How was your morning?”
“Good. Louisa ate her weight in sausage, and Miguel had two shakes.”
“I’ll reimburse you.”
“Stop, Juliette. I’m with you. I’m on your side. You don’t owe me anything.”
She looked at me a long time, her hazel eyes unguarded by glasses and for a second I felt naked—as if she could see through my clothes and skin to the heart that beat for her.
“Thank you,” she said, sincere and warm, and I was touched by her genuine gratitude. “I should have said that before.”
“You did.”
“I didn’t mean it.”
Now I was laughing, and the good times between us were close enough to taste.
“Chief Tremblant,” Nora Sullivan said, coming around the side of the porch with her hands on the shoulders of the two kids. The two smiling kids.
Juliette gasped and we shared a startled look.
“I guess everything is okay?” Juliette asked.
Miguel just shrugged but Nora nodded. “We’ve set up some counseling sessions for the entire family. I am going to go find Mr. Pastor to set up a schedule and let him know what Miguel and Louisa have decided.”
“What…what have you decided?” Juliette asked.
“We want to stay in our home,” Miguel said. “But only if Dad stops drinking.”
“And if he doesn’t?” Juliette asked.
Miguel and Louisa shared a long look. “Ms. Sullivan says we won’t be split up if we go into foster care, she knows someone who can take us together.”
“Okay,” Juliette said after a moment. She seemed slightly unglued and I put my hand on her shoulder to steady her. The heat of her skin through her linen shirt melted me and I wanted to wrap myself around her and not let go.
So, I forced myself to, taking my hand back and shoving it deep in my pocket.
I was happy for her, but this was her happiness. I needed to stay away from it.
“Ms. Sullivan,” Juliette said, stepping away from me. “I’ll take you back to the station.”
“And I’ll put you two back to work,” I said to the kids.
Juliette and Nora Sullivan left, and as I led the kids away I couldn’t help hugging Louisa to my side.
“I’m proud of you,” I said to Miguel.
“I need to take care of my family,” Miguel said, his eyes on his sister as she raced on ahead, looking for her tool belt.
