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“You should take a break,” he said. “After the paper this morning—”
“I’m fine,” I said, though prickles of adrenaline still fluttered over my skin. Being ambushed yesterday coming out of the clinic had scared me nearly to death, and the photograph this morning had made me sick to my stomach.
“You don’t have to be so tough.”
“Yes,” I said, patting his cheek. “I do.”
The front door opened and much to my shock, Carter walked in.
Carter, with his tie tugged loose and his shirtsleeves rolled up, revealing the tanned strength of his forearms.
Just like at Mama’s, just like every time I saw him, my body rebelled against me. My skin went hot, my heart cold. My hands curled into fists and the knot—the knot deep in my belly that had been turning tighter and tighter in the nights and lonely days—loosened in a great rush that made me dizzy with sudden want.
Phillip stepped toward Carter, his face intent, and I knew my friend was about to give Carter a piece of his mind, so I put up my hand. I could fight my own battles.
“It’s not his fault,” I said.
“You gotta end this thing with him,” Phillip said. “It’s getting ridiculous.”
“I agree,” I said. I’d decided this morning that whatever debt I owed Carter was repaid. My life didn’t need this drama. Though my head was making the decisions, my heart was getting kicked around, and it was time to get out of the line of fire. “Now, go drag those kids away from the snacks and teach them some dance.”
“Okay,” he said giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Shout if you need me.”
I caught Carter’s eye and his long legs ate the distance between us. Something was different about him today. An inner fire had been lit.
And it was exciting.
I tamped down my reaction to that excitement, ignored the leap in my blood.
“What are you doing here?” I asked when he was within talking distance.
“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said.
“You should check the papers,” I said, making a stab at a joke.
“Zoe,” he sighed, and his voice carried a heavy apology.
I shook my head. “Forget it,” I said. “I’m fine. It’s just a picture.”
“Zoe, I—” Suddenly the look on his face was raw and I saw that he wasn’t just here for me. Out of pity. There was a storm in his eyes, pain on his face. “God, Zoe, I’m so sorry about how this has turned out.”
“Blackwell is really after you,” I said, though I didn’t tell Carter about Blackwell’s visit to my loft on Sunday night.
“I know. I’m going to take care of it,” he promised me.
“Can we…can we just be done?” I asked, my stomach hurting. It was hard to look in his eyes. This wasn’t a breakup; there was nothing to break up. It was the end of an agreement.
It shouldn’t feel so bad.
“I mean, I know I made things hard for you when I stood up on that chair, and if you need me, I can still go on dates…or whatever. But if there’s a chance you don’t need me, and your political career is no longer in trouble, can we…stop?”
Silently, he stepped closer, and I felt him, his presence like a touch on my skin even though inches still separated us.
“Is that what you really want?” he asked, and the heat from his body made me melt.
What I want? I thought. Oddly enough, what I wanted was to curl up against that man and sleep for about ten days. And then I wanted to have sex with him for another ten.
But life without Carter would be simpler.
And right now, I needed simple.
“That’s what I want,” I said. The second the words were out, I wanted to gobble them back up.
He nodded once, his blue eyes piercing me, holding me still for his scrutiny, and it was unbearable. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, whether he had any reaction at all to me ending the arrangement.
There was some commotion at the snack table, and both of us turned to watch Phillip try to wrestle the bag of chips away from the giant while Grandma’s little prisoner was texting on her phone and enthusiastic girl was channeling Beyoncé.
His chuckle ran over my skin, giving me goose bumps. “What exactly are you doing here?” he asked.
I felt the blush climb up my neck across my face. Following your lead, I thought, putting your words to action.
“It’s…ah…a free dance class for kids in East Brookstown.”
East Brookstown being one of the roughest neighborhoods in Baton Rouge.
I felt Carter’s eyes on me and I tried not to turn and face him, but in the end I couldn’t help it. It was as if he tipped the room, the whole world, and everything in me wanted to run downhill to be close to him.
