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“Do tell,” she said through her teeth.
“Vanessa has a job?” Savannah asked after I had filled my sister in on our mother’s latest foray into our lives. Katie had been sent into the living room to watch TV and the plates of Thanksgiving Day food were growing cold in front of us. Even Zoe wasn’t eating. “She’s what, living here? In Baton Rouge?”
Savannah looked dejected. As if just hearing about Vanessa hurt her, took away the armor of her age and her distance and turned her back into a little girl left on a doorstep.
And this is why I did my best to keep her out of our lives.
“I think so,” I said. “For the time being. But the good news is she doesn’t have the jewels and she’s given up on Margot having the jewels. So, hopefully this is the end.”
“The end except that she’s bribing pregnant women to get you out in alleyways and showing up at your charity fundraisers.” Savannah shook her head. “I can’t believe this.”
I hesitated a moment before putting my hand over hers. “She seems…different, somehow. Defeated a little.”
“Good,” Savannah snapped and I flinched.
Savannah’s eyes widened. “You’re buying her act, Carter. She’s suckering you in—”
I shook my head, denying it even as I knew that, in a way, it was true. This was my mother and stupidly, I wanted to believe her. “I don’t think it’s an act.”
“That’s how you know it’s an act!” she cried. “Mom’s a con! How can you forget that?”
“I’m not forgetting anything, trust me. I’m just saying she seems changed. She’s broke. She owes people money. She’s alone. I don’t think she’s a threat.”
“Don’t be a fool,” Savannah whispered, her voice charging the silence that followed. I didn’t have anything else to say, no words to justify the fact that I thought Vanessa was telling me the truth when she said she was out of angles.
Right now, I felt how much I wanted to believe Vanessa. Wanted to have a mother that wasn’t going to use me for something. It made me nervous, since my entire life had revolved around keeping her away.
“What is this hold she has on you?” Savannah asked. “Ten years ago when you were her alibi in that breaking and entering case—?”
“What about it?” I asked, sick to my stomach.
“I just can’t believe it—”
“Are you accusing me of lying?” I snapped, sounding guilty to my own ears. I glanced sideways at Zoe, who watched it all with her heart in her eyes.
“No, Carter,” Savannah sighed. “I just don’t understand and I want to. I really want to understand.”
“There’s nothing to understand. She was at my apartment the night of the break-in. Why she was there, I have no clue, she just was.” My lies sounded cheap, and the silence my words fell into was so deep, so profound I thought we all might be drowning in it.
“I’m so sorry,” Zoe breathed, sitting beside me looking slightly shell-shocked. Which, I supposed, was the right reaction when getting the greatest hits version of the Notorious O’Neills’ exploits. “I should have kept my mouth shut.”
“No,” Savannah said, sparking to life, “you did the right thing, because Carter never would have told me. Would you?”
I sat back, tired of dealing with this anger. “No,” I said. “I wouldn’t.”
“Because you’re still being the protective older brother—”
“No! Because what’s the point?” I stood. “Look at you, Savvy. You’ve moved on. You’re making a family. A new life. You don’t need this crap.”
“And you do?”
I was silent. The sounds of Katie’s TV show in the living room tinkled through the kitchen door—where she was probably standing and eavesdropping, despite being told not to.
“She’s why you weren’t going to come back for Christmas, isn’t it?”
“I’m busy,” I said, through tight lips.
“You’re an ass.”
“It’s really easy for you to judge me, Savvy, but everything I’ve done I have done to keep you guys safe. To keep her away from you.”
“And I am telling you we are no longer kids. Tyler and I can take care of ourselves.” Savannah stood and put her hands on my shoulders, her damp blue eyes a weight on my heart. “I would rather have you in my life,” she said, “in Katie’s life and the baby’s life, even if it meant I had to deal with Mom.”
“Last time you dealt with her she broke into your house, remember? Terrified you and Katie. Broke your heart all over again. That’s what you want?”
“If it means I’d get my big brother back, then yes.”
I didn’t have anything else to say, no words to make the years somehow right. I rested my head against hers.
“He’ll be there at Christmas,” Zoe said, and I spun to face her as she clapped her hands over her mouth.
14
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m sorry,” she said, looking pained and uncomfortable. “But look at you guys. You need to be home for Christmas.”
