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"I need to go and get you something from med-bay," he tells me, a worried look on his face. "Your pupils are too big."
I cling to his hand. "Don't leave me. Don't."
So we go together, me in a towel, and Crulden in fresh clothes, and they give me a sedative that will bring me down from this fucked-up need to run run run and hide.
When I wake up hours later, though, Crulden's beside me in the bed, stroking a lock of my hair. "It's all right," he murmurs. "I was the same way when I first got out. I kept expecting to feel the collar around my throat again. To have it turn out to be a trick." He rubs his thumb over my bare shoulder. "But it's real, Mina. And I'm here."
My chest hurts with how much emotion is pouring through me. I want to cry all over again, but I also don't want to weep like a fucking baby for the next week and a half. Not when there are other things to do. Not when I've missed Crulden so much that seeing him is like a physical stab of pain and pleasure all at once.
"Where do we go now?" I whisper. "What happens to us?"
"Well." Crulden's voice is calm, easy. It's like he's a different person…and yet the same. He strokes a fingertip over my forehead, as if he needs to touch me constantly. "First, I'm going to feed you because you're too thin. And you're going to sleep. And you're going to get better. And we're going to go to Risda. It's a farm planet, baby. It's run by Lord and Lady va'Rin and there's so much sunshine and open space that you won't believe your eyes. There's hundreds of humans living there, running little farms and being independent." He traces a line down my beaky nose, as if I'm the cutest, most fragile thing in the universe and he's fascinated with me. "I thought at first that I'd be a bodyguard, because that's all I'm good for. Just strength and muscle and scaring people. But I didn't like the way everyone looked at me like I was a monster. I wanted to leave that behind. And then I met Doris."
My heart freezes in my chest. "Doris," I echo flatly.
"Yes. She's…special." He chuckles.
Jealous, ugly rage blisters through me. He loves me, doesn't he? He wouldn't come back for me if he didn't love me. But Doris sounds human, and she makes him smile and—
"Doris works with the animals. She's the most unpleasant old female I've ever met, too. But I like that. She's not intimidated by me. She just bosses me around and acts like she's in charge and she's teaching me how to take care of the cattle. I love working with animals, Mina. It's amazing."
I breathe a little easier. "So…do I need to kill Doris? Do you love her?"
Crulden looks astounded. "Mina. Doris is old enough to be your mother's mother. Of course I don't love her. I love you." A hint of a smile curves his flat, odd mouth, so strange to look at without the familiar tusks stretching everything. "I'm an ugly monster. You're the only one foolish enough to love me."
"No," I say hoarsely. I touch his chest, but it's covered by his clothing, and I wish I could wrap my fingers in the hair covering his body, as if I can tie myself to him and we'll never be separated again. "You're the best. Anyone would love you."
He grins. "You are blind."
"Like you're not? I'm not exactly a beauty queen myself. Or pleasant to be around."
Crulden's eyes glitter. "Ah, but you're mine."
And somehow that's better than any compliment about my looks. Because I want nothing more than to be his.
True to his word, Crulden stuffs me full of food. It's a lot of noodles and veg, since Lord and Lady va'Rin don't eat a lot of meat, but it's all flavored beautifully and spiced and I eat three bowls before my stomach starts to hurt. My appetite's been nonexistent since Crulden disappeared. It's been difficult to choke down the slave paste, and I don't realize until now how long I've been running on fumes, just existing. I want to stay up and talk to him—I want to talk to him forever—but after I eat, my eyes get so heavy that I don't protest when Crulden tugs me back to bed.
I sleep for hours. Days, maybe.
When I wake up, Crulden's beside me, sleeping, his arm protectively over my hip. I want to burst into fresh tears at the realization. That yes, maybe I do get to have Crulden after all. Maybe I do get a happy ever after, for a little while. Happiness floods through me and I turn toward him, pressing my cheek and the rest of my body against his. I let out a small, contented sigh.
