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She was one of the only people who Jay had told about his past. And in keeping with her character, Polly showed him kindness, compassion, and did not look at him any differently after.
But she was a rare woman. One of a kind. If things had been different, then he might’ve fought Heath tooth and nail for an opportunity to have her. But things were different, he was different, and a man like him would only ruin every bit of goodness in a woman like Polly.
Of course, Polly had not let Jay distance himself from her, even if it would’ve been for her own good. And uncharacteristically, Jay let himself be controlled by her kind and gentle nature. So they had lunch once a month. She did most of the talking, and Polly always had a lot to talk about. Her life was full of chaos, especially with a sister that was in the habit of investigating drug lords. She was currently tracking what she thought was a serial killer.
Polly was kept on her toes while running the shelters Jay financed and with the two children she’d taken in and treated as her own. Beyond that chaos, Polly’s life was also filled with peace. You could see it, something in her, behind her eyes. Something that should’ve been impossible given what she’d been through but something Jay was very glad existed within her. It didn’t quite give him hope, but it did give him the idea that not everyone was damned and rotten.
Apart from Polly, he’d never had any fond feelings toward a woman. Any woman. He was sure it had a lot to do with his mother and how much he fucking hated her, how she’d caused him to mistrust women. He didn’t need some shrink dissecting him to tell him that. And he was already well aware that he was damned and rotten.
But the woman had changed him.
The strawberry blonde with the face of a fairy princess. With peaches and cream skin. With her small, breakable stature, yet with an iron backbone even when she was scared for her life.
Knowing that he’d scared her had bothered Jay. More than it should’ve.
He’d been beaten, battered, broken and ground in to little more than dust as a child. So he’d made it his mission in life to turn in to something larger, something more menacing and more powerful than his parents could’ve ever been. He did business with people born with silver spoons in their mouths, born with the ability to recognize the poverty sticking to his skin like a brand. So he worked hard in order to make more money than them, cultivate more power than them, and most importantly, to make them afraid of him.
To make everyone afraid of him.
He didn’t want women to fear him, not exactly. He had no urge to force them in to situations they didn’t want to be in, didn’t want to truly hurt or humiliate them, but he ached to control them. See them bend to his will.
The problem was, all the women that came before her had wanted to bend. Had been aching for it. They wanted to please him, wanted to be rewarded with more than his praise, eager for what he could give them. So he quickly tired of them. He gave them what they craved then made sure he never had to interact with him again.
Not once had a woman refused him.
Not one fucking time.
Despite the fact that his mother had spent his entire childhood telling him how hideous he was, how sickening, how rotten, he’d grown in to a handsome man. Exceptionally so, if women’s responses were anything to go by.
Jay took care of his body. Ran six miles daily then lifted weights in his gym. Ate what his body needed for fuel. He looked good. Women liked that. He liked that. Having muscles that connoted strength, masculinity. Two things he’d been sure he’d never be able to possess. Two things his mother had promised him he’d never possess.
He liked to intimidate and impress women.
But not to terrify them.
Stella had been terrified when she’d been brought up to him. She’d thought he was going to kill her. It sickened him, that fear she’d worn. But it excited him too. Which was even more sickening.
But even in her fear, she’d stood up to him. She’d refused him. Walked away. Had not been back to Klutch since. And he’d looked for her. The only place he found her was in his damn dreams.
Which infuriated him. He did not need this woman taking up space in his mind. Business needed to be conducted. He was working on acquiring two new companies while another one was going public. Not to mention his other business. Booming as it was, people were always trying to move in on him. Take what was his.
