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“Okay, all right.” He rubbed the scars on his left forearm with the palm of his good hand. “You can’t let him intimidate you.”
Now it was my turn to laugh. “That’s funny, coming from you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ve done nothing but threaten and coerce me since the moment Sister Agrippa introduced us in the tunnels under the convent.”
“You don’t get it, do you?”
I shrugged.
“If you die, every hope of defeating the Troika goes with you. Have him send that kid alone, I don’t care. But you’re not going.”
Cold spread from my scalp to my chest. I wasn’t sure what I’d been hoping he would say, but telling me the only reason he wanted me alive was for his precious rebellion? For someone so set on saving the human race, he was incredibly mercenary when it came to caring for individuals.
“I get it,” I snapped.
He frowned and leaned forward. “Why are you angry with me? I’m trying to save your life.”
“No,” I said, standing. He had to lean back to get out of my way. “You’re trying to save the rebellion.” I opened the door. “I’m tired.”
He froze and watched me for a few moments, as if I were a riddle he was trying to unravel. Finally, he slapped his hands on his thighs before rising. “Just promise me you’ll be strong tomorrow.”
I looked him in the eyes as he approached. “I’m always strong, Icarus.”
He met my gaze steadily. When he spoke his voice was unexpectedly soft. “I know you are.”
With that, he brushed past me and disappeared down the corridor like a ghost.
I slammed the door harder than I’d intended, but it felt so good that I didn’t regret it. Using dry fingers, I pinched the wick to snuff out the flame. The bite of pain felt good too.
Plopping onto the cot, I realized Icarus had done me a huge favor. As usual, talking to him made me so angry I forgot to feel sorry for myself.
I settled back against the wall and began to formulate my plan.
Nine
Zed
A door slammed down the corridor just after I’d gotten the youngs settled onto their pallets on the floor.
“Pa?” Blue whimpered. She was still panicky after the run-in with the Troika and the loss of Bravo and Mica. I knelt beside her and made the appropriate little soothing sounds. One she’d settled back down, I went to lie on my own thin blanket.
Before the door slammed, I’d heard raised voices. One had been the girl’s—the one they called Meridian Six. The other sounded too young to be the old man, so I assumed it had come from the scarred man who’d stalked out of the book room earlier.
I rolled on my side and tried to calm my thoughts, but there would be no sleep for me. That I knew. What I did not know was how I was going to convince the old man to allow me to join the others on the mission.
After I’d left the book silo earlier, I’d snuck back down the corridor to listen to the conversation. I’d missed some of it, but heard the old man say that his real goal wasn’t to save Bravo and Mica but to kill someone he’d called Dr. Death. I’d been so angry at the time that I almost stormed into the room, but I’d managed to hold back. It was an argument I’d never have a chance of winning. Instead, I’d retreated back to the cell. While I’d told the youngs silly stories, my mind had been turning the situation over to come up with the solution.
I had to go to the camp with them.
It’d be a hard sell, I knew. First of all, Meridian refused to do the mission. And I’d seen enough of the scarred man’s reaction to the mere mention of the camp to know that he’d never make it. The other one—the vampire—wouldn’t be able to pose as a prisoner, either. From what I heard, there was a special camp set aside for vampires who betrayed the Troika. If Dare tried to blend into the population at the human work camp, she’d be found out immediately. Which meant the only person who could truly do the mission was Meridian Six. I had to convince her to agree to go to the camp and convince her to take me along for backup.
And if she refused, I’d have to fight until they gave me the information I needed to find the camp by myself.
I rolled over. Maybe I was just delaying the inevitable. The instant the Troika captured Bravo and Mica, I should have just gone into mourning instead of letting hope get ahold of me. There were so many obstacles—each more impossible than the last.
God, I was tired. For ten years, I’d managed to eke out an existence in the hell that our world had become. First on my own, then with Bravo and the youngs. In some ways life had been easier when it was just me to worry about, but it sure had been lonely. Taking care of the youngs wasn’t easy, but on quiet nights when one of them would look up at me with a trusting smile or curl their little warm body up to mine, I felt like I had a real purpose beyond just surviving. Knowing it was up to me to protect all those young lives gave me hope because it gave me a purpose.
