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Nathan told himself he wasn’t the same.
Relationships were important, but they were like dessert. Wonderful, luscious, but not necessary. They could be compartmentalized, like everything else. The right amount of attention at the right time, and things were perfect.
Except it didn’t seem to work that way with Kelsey.
What the hell had he done wrong?
“You okay?” Connor asked.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know,” Connor replied carefully. Then he shrugged. “Maybe because your key employee, your personal assistant who you took to Deviation, is considering leaving. It would make most of us pause for reflection.”
“Not me.” He picked up his glass to take a drink then slammed it down, untouched.
Without a word, he stood.
On any other occasion, the stunning view of the city beneath him would capture his interest. Tonight he hardly noticed.
The waitress moved toward him. “Put my drinks on my brother’s tab.”
In the elevator, his watch lit up, and the image of Julien Bonds hovered above the screen. “You may want to get a little exercise to burn off some of your energy. I recommend a kale and protein smoothie and more than three hours’ sleep so that you can be more effective in your personal—”
Nathan powered down the watch. Bonds’ image slowly scattered into thousands of pieces of shimmering dust.
Something more explosive would have suited his mood.
Nathan drove home, pissed.
In his office, he tossed the watch and phone on his desk.
When he’d walked out of Kelsey’s house, he’d invited her to contact him when she changed her mind.
Obviously she hadn’t.
He stripped off his clothes in the master bath. Damn if he didn’t remember her being in there with him too. His entire house seemed to reflect her. Or worse, yearn for her. The study would be perfect for her camera equipment. This place was somewhere she could grow and flourish.
How the hell could she miss what he so easily saw?
Naked, Nathan entered the shower. And thoughts of Kelsey again returned to consume him.
What was it about her?
Yesterday, his ego had stung. He’d been so certain that she’d move in with him that he hadn’t considered any other possibility.
When she’d refused, he’d been stunned to the point he hadn’t known how to react.
To him, it had been the next logical step.
They worked together well. And outside of work? It was even better. She’d responded to him perfectly, they were in sync. The scene at Deviation had been everything he’d hoped it would be. Yes, she’d initially been apprehensive, but she’d pivoted on that, turning fear into trust. He’d taken her trust and turned it into the most profound pleasure she’d experienced. He’d never been with a sub who suited him so well, whom he had been so in tune with.
Anything he offered, she accepted. And she met it with one perfect word. More.
He stroked his turgid dick, forehead pressed against the tiles, picturing her, thinking, remembering.
He was hard, ready.
And he couldn’t fucking get there.
His balls were full, and no matter how hard or soft he stroked, he couldn’t ejaculate.
Then it occurred to him.
He was missing something.
Something big.
Frustrated, he turned off the faucet. His dick was still erect.
After drying off, he dressed in a pair of shorts before heading back to his office, where he turned on the television. His hair was still damp as he started pedaling his exercise bike, forgetting reality, not watching the news, just allowing his thoughts to tumble over each other.
As he rode, memories flashed by, from his first meeting with Kelsey and her initial distrust, to the chocolate cake they’d shared at Marvin’s.
That evening, even before she’d known he was into BDSM, she’d opened up to him. And he recalled her talking about her mother’s death and the way her father had behaved.
He took his feet off the pedals and allowed the machine to slowly spin to a stop.
Shit.
That evening, she’d been honest with him, about her dreams, her determination to run a company, her need to prove herself, not just to herself but to her father, for her mother, for her sister.
He’d heard her. But not as completely as he should have. Not as deeply as she needed. As he needed to.
Protection didn’t matter to her. And she’d proven that she could take care of not only herself, but her sister as well, without anyone’s help.
She’d spent most of her life fighting for her independence. In him, she’d clearly seen a man who wanted to take that from her.
But that was the last thing he wanted.
In so many different ways, she’d told him she wanted to be with a man who nurtured her.
