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“I’m not sure I want it to be easier.”
“And I’m sure I want you naked. And in this case, at least, what I want wins.”
She returned to him and extended the bowl. “Until tonight, the only thing this has held is chocolate chip cookie batter.”
“Until tonight,” he agreed easily. “Carry it, along with the other items. I’ll get the leash and collar.”
Something, maybe the leading edge of disagreement, flashed in her eyes. But she relented and did as he said.
Her collar and leash wrapped around his hand, he followed her to the master bedroom. He placed all of the items on the nightstand. “Go and take a bath or shower,” he said. “I’ll be there directly.”
“Is this part of my training? You telling me what to do and me doing it without arguing?”
“Well”—he couldn’t help pointing out—“you’re arguing.”
She folded her arms.
Recognizing she needed a connection, he took hold of her shoulders. “I’m not simply issuing directives because I like to order you around. I want us to be in accord on Saturday evening. If you’ve proven to yourself that I’m trustworthy, that I have thought things through where you’re concerned, then you’ll be less apprehensive when we visit Deviation. Relying on me will help it feel less overwhelming. You’ll be free to let yourself go physically and mentally. We’re on an accelerated schedule to establish the kind of relationship that will help you have a relaxed experience so that you give yourself over to me when you’re on the St. Andrew’s cross or the Punishment Pole.”
A ripple of something went through her, maybe trepidation, maybe anticipation. Perhaps a combination.
“That sounds scary.”
“We can watch for a bit and then you can decide whether or not you’re interested.” Nathan moved his fingers soothingly. “Most of all, I mean for this to be about your pleasure and you gaining confidence in yourself as a sexual woman and as a hot little sub. If this isn’t enjoyable for you, we should stop right now. You can get dressed, turn on a movie, make some popcorn and open a bottle of wine. No harm. I won’t hold it against you.”
She exhaled. “No. It’s not that…”
“Tell me.” He looked deeply into her eyes and gently massaged her.
“I’m not sure why the hell I’m struggling when this is what I want. I just didn’t have any idea it would be this difficult.”
“You’re incredibly intelligent, Kelsey. Driven. Determined. It’s not a surprise that you’re conflicted. You made certain decisions about the way the world works and the way you needed to behave in order to succeed. And you’ve had spectacular results. There aren’t many women in the kind of position you are right now. You’re poised to go wherever you want. You’ve been strategic and focused. And maybe you think you’re betraying your own principles every time you agree to do as I want. Tell me this. When you did that little strip-tease and tossed your skirt on my head, how did that feel?”
“Exhilarating.”
“Until you thought that independent women don’t do those kinds of things.”
“There could be some truth to that.”
“Here’s a new truth. Independent women get to do what the hell they want. It’s when there’s no choice that there’s a problem. Did your friend Andi judge you?”
“No.”
“Then why are you?”
The words hung between them.
“Your call. Either that pussy hair is coming off and you’re going to get the spanking of your life or we can watch The Godfather.”
“Don’t take sides against the family, or something like that?”
The line of dialogue wasn’t exact, but it was damn fucking close. Close enough for him to want to kiss her.
“That has particular meaning to you, doesn’t it?” she guessed.
“Probably applies to a lot of families.”
“True. And you feel a special obligation to yours.”
Nathan nodded. Kelsey had remembered what he’d told her about what drove him. Ms. Kelsey Lane went up again in his estimation. “So what will it be? The Godfather? We could do a marathon, go straight to number two as soon as it finishes?”
“I have uncles and more male cousins than I can count. We have boy movie marathons every holiday. I’d rather have a toothache.”
He grinned. “Is that your answer? Or do you need to discuss it some more?”
“You helped me sort it out. Thank you.” She put two fingers on his mouth.
Nathan kissed them. “In that case, my sub, into the bathtub.” He pulled her onto her toes and he saw it…the answering spark in response to his command.
