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“You know, you can talk about my condition,” she told him, needing him to realize that bringing it out in the open didn’t make her upset. “I’m used to it. I rarely notice it, actually.”
More lies. Oftentimes after working long hours and showing homes, going up and down flights of stairs, the ache from all the limping got to her, and her other leg actually started hurting from taking up the slack from the injured one. But that was rare. Most of the time there was just an annoying ache she could live with.
“I don’t want to discuss that. I just wanted to know if you were hurt from falling just now.”
Protective shield back up. His eyes were no longer holding that vulnerable compassion. She’d already taken a mental picture of how he’d looked, and she’d never forget. Why couldn’t he just let go? Why had everyone let him close himself off?
Sophie crossed her arms and stared up at him. “Just when would you like to discuss that? Because until you and I talk about what happened years ago, you’ll never be at peace. I for one am sick of the way you’ve let this just eat away at you, because it’s affected everyone around you.”
She hadn’t meant to snap; the words just flooded out of her mouth before she could put up her filter. She couldn’t say she was sorry, though. A decade was a hell of a long time for any of them to keep all these emotions bottled up.
Zach massaged the back of his neck. “Drop it.”
“Drop it? Is that how you cope?”
Those tortured eyes closed for the briefest of moments before his lids lifted and those eyes the color of rich chocolate met hers. “It’s the only option I have. That accident . . .”
The low, raspy tone nearly had her reaching for him. The hurt lacing his voice matched that in her heart. They weren’t friends anymore, not like they used to be, and she had no right to pry into his life, his emotions. Hadn’t she moved on? Purposely guiding her life in another direction, away from anything that resembled the young man she used to love . . . or thought she’d loved.
She waited on him to finish his thought, but he just shook his head and glanced away.
Carefully gauging her words, Sophie took a slight step forward. “No, don’t look away. That accident isn’t what messed up your life. You messed it up afterward by pushing everyone away and not facing the fact that you’re human. Why can’t you see that people can’t shun you without you allowing it? You’re the one who built that invisible wall around yourself, refusing to let people in.”
Silence hovered between them. Sophie could hear the steady thumping of her heart. She’d not been alone with Zach since before that night. Chelsea or another family member had always been present the few times they’d been in close proximity over the past several years. Awkwardness was now being pushed aside by long overdue questions.
Zach turned toward the door. “This was a mistake.”
Oh no. He wasn’t getting off that easy. She struggled to get between him and the door. She made it . . . barely.
“You’re not leaving.”
His eyes widened as if he hadn’t expected such a quick, defiant reaction from her. To be honest, she was pretty proud of herself for being bold where he was concerned. She was sick to death of him running from her, from Liam, from the accident. Someone here needed to grow a set and man up. Apparently that was going to be her.
If she’d learned anything from Chelsea’s death, it was that tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed and you had to seize the moment or the moment would seize you.
“Move, Sophie.”
“No.” She forced herself to look into those beautiful, lost eyes. “I won’t bring up the car accident, I won’t make you talk. But don’t run. Chelsea wouldn’t want this. She’d want us to be friends again.”
“You’re right. She would.” Zach sighed as he glanced around Chelsea’s apartment. “Damn, I miss her.”
“We’ll miss her forever,” Sophie added softly. “Is that why you came by? I do that when I want to feel closer to her. I keep waiting for one of you guys to ask for my key back to give to the landlord.”
“I actually came to start going through some things. I can come back.”
Once you’re gone. The unspoken words hovered in the air just as sure as if he’d spoken them aloud.
“No.” Sophie headed back to the couch and picked up her purse. “I’ve been here long enough. I actually already found a few items I’d like to keep. Things I bought for her over the years, and the pictures of us as kids. They’re sitting on her bed. Just look through them and let me know if I can have them.”
Zach nodded. “You’re entitled to whatever you want.”
Sophie’s cell chimed from her purse. She hesitated answering the text now, but Zach had already moved toward the bedroom. He stopped as he spotted the binders on the dining table.
“Those were in the bottom of her closet,” Sophie told him, pulling her phone out. “I haven’t looked at them yet.”
She glanced down to the text from Martin and sighed. Their dinner date was being put off. Again. Most women would be disappointed, and in a way she was. Sophie realized he was a busy man, with his city job and helping his father run a chain of restaurants. Things came up, life happened. They’d dated for six months, but for the last month they hadn’t been on even one date because of their hectic schedules.
Sometimes she wondered if she dated Martin because he was so secure, so safe. Other times she wondered if she was with him because he reminded her of her childhood and she knew no different. He had that structured, polished thing going, and stability. Nothing to worry about with him. Definitely inside her comfort zone.
