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When Mom said ‘dinner’ she no doubt meant a dinner party. A bit ambitious considering how much sleep she’d had, but at least she didn’t have to go to work anymore. Important as they were to the readers, a publishing company hardly qualified as an essential service. But she wasn’t out of work, either, the company had simply moved online, the same thing school had promised to do, making her commute a lot shorter.
Nice. Studious. Cute. Those were my basic options when it came to outfits. Nothing I had even approaching sexy. It would have been fun to torture Nate by showing skin. Not a lot, certainly not enough to raise my mother’s eyebrows. Just enough to really show the change in my figure.
It was petty, of course, but I was hurt. I’d actually really liked him once. Back before I found out what the players were really like. I wanted nothing to do with it, and so began our hate for each other. Mine based on his sports star status and his, as far as I could tell, based on my rigorous study habits and high grades.
Dollars to donuts he was jealous of my success, which would have been forgivable, even understandable if he hadn’t been so horrible to me. Called me the names he did, made me feel awful about myself. It wasn’t my proudest moment, but I’d actually tried a water bra, just to shut them up. It lasted a day.
That bit about sticks and stones was bullshit. Words couldn’t literally cause harm, but that wasn’t the point. The worst part of an insult weren’t the words used, but the hate that led to them. For someone, particularly a kid, to hate another so much as to want to cause them such distress was disturbing on a deep level. It would have been kinder if they’d just punched me and been done with it.
Wiping away the welling tears with the ball of my hand, I set my mind back to finding something to wear. The rebel inside me wanted to wear the worst thing I could find, knowing it would likely start an argument. The risk was just too high, so I moved on.
Most of my shirts barely fit me, bought back before I had proper boobs and when my waist was larger. Going with a plain, black turtleneck, which fit about as well as I could hope for, I opted to pair it with the shortest skirt I had, to really accentuate my hips and show off my legs.
A wicked smile spread across my lips as I checked the results in the mirror. Nate was going to pay for what he’d done to me, whether Mom liked it or not.
My outfit chosen and revenge on the horizon, if not yet mine, I felt the need to unwind. No point going down all halfcocked. I needed to be casual if my plan was going to work. Like I wore that kind of stuff all the time to entrain guest. Particularly male callers. I was beating them away with a stick to be honest, so his interest wouldn’t be required.
Taking a deep, cleansing breath, I went to my computer and started trawling through my movie collection, looking for comfort movies. I only had a few hours before it all went down, but that should be lot of time. There were movies that always made me happy, no matter how many times I saw them, or how bad the situation might be.
Losing myself in a good movie was like leaving my body. The world just melted away into irrelevance, if not outright nothingness. It could be very Zen when done right. It was part of why I liked films so much, as well as the connection with my dad. One that really couldn’t be understated.
I only had him a short time, much shorter than I would have, or would have in a completely fair universe, but the impression he made was big. I was never happier than when he would take me to watch his films, except maybe when he would bring me on set to meet everyone.
It was what killed him, but making films was what he loved, and he’d very much died how he’d lived. With passion, drive, and concern for others, knocking the Assistant Director out of the way as the bat fell. Everyone turned out to the funeral. The church ran out of room within minutes, but even then, people waited outside and listened, some of dad’s more tech minded friends setting up respectfully placed cameras, so they could watch on screens outside. Mom seemed surprised but pleased he’d had so many friends.
Leaving the turtleneck on, I switched out the skirt for a pair of nice jeans. I didn’t have anything to prove to anyone, and Daddy wouldn’t want me to be so angry. Let alone to want revenge. Especially not like that.
