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‘Ah!’ he says.
When I’ve recovered from my fright, I reply with a weary sigh, ‘Hello, Lewis.’
His face is black. ‘Gerry tells me that there’s a new man in your life,’ he says without any other introduction.
‘Yes,’ I tell him, ‘there is.’
‘Is this why you’re not answering any of my texts?’
‘Of course it is.’
‘I don’t think you’ve given us a fair chance,’ he spits.
‘Lewis, I’m sorry but you’re deluded. There never was an us. We had one horrible date that ended prematurely. That’s it.’
‘Is he here?’ Lewis says. ‘Gerry says he’s moved in. Already. I’d like to give him a piece of my mind.’
‘I don’t think that’s really appropriate.’ But before I can do anything to dissuade him otherwise, I find that Dominic is standing by my side. He towers over my dating disaster and looks very fearsome in his traditional dress. Lewis’s jaw drops open and stays there.
‘This is my new man,’ I inform Lewis. ‘Meet Dominic Ole Nangon, Maasai warrior.’
‘How do you do?’ Lewis offers.
‘Who is this?’ Dominic asks sternly.
‘This is the man I was telling you about.’
‘Then I must challenge you, friend,’ he says darkly. ‘You are my rival.’
‘Well,’ Lewis says weakly, ‘I wouldn’t put it quite like that.’
‘I must challenge you.’ Dominic bangs his stick on the ground and both Lewis and I jump.
‘All right, all right, mate.’ Lewis is visibly shaken. ‘Keep your hair on.’
‘We must have a competition.’
‘I don’t think so,’ Lewis says and goes to head up the path.
‘It is the Maasai way.’
‘I’m out of here.’ Lewis turns on his heels.
Dominic gets hold of his collar and prevents him from leaving. ‘You cannot refuse the challenge of a Maasai.’
‘I can’t?’
Dominic shakes his head and folds his arms. ‘I must challenge you to jumping.’
‘Jumping?’
My lover barely inclines his head. ‘Jumping.’
‘Jumping it is then,’ Lewis concedes with a resigned huff of breath. Then, chest puffed out with bravado, he reluctantly follows Dominic through to the back garden. I trail after them, interest piqued.
They stand, Lewis breathing heavily, face-to-face, ready for the jump off. Dominic lets out a blood-curdling scream and leaps high into the air again and again, getting higher and higher.
‘Jump,’ he instructs Lewis.
In response, Lewis lets out a terrified squeak and launches his not inconsiderable bulk into the air. He clears the grass by about three inches.
‘Jump! Jump!’ Dominic insists.
Lewis bounces again and his fat sets up a counter wobble. After a few leaps, he gives up and wipes a hand over his sweaty brow.
‘That is it?’ Dominic demands fiercely.
Lewis looks puffed out already. He cowers away from Dominic. ‘Do what you have to do, mate,’ he concedes. ‘I’m done.’
Dominic throws down his stick. ‘Then I win.’
Now it’s Lewis’s turn to say, ‘That’s it?’ He looks astonished. ‘You’re not going to flatten me, beat me to a pulp now?’
‘No. My honour is served.’
‘Thank Christ.’ Lewis sags to his knees on the grass. ‘Thank Christ for that.’
‘But only if you leave my lady alone.’
‘I will,’ Lewis promises. ‘I will.’
Dominic leans close to him. ‘If you do not,’ he says softly, ‘I will strip your skin from your body and eat it all.’
‘Right,’ Lewis says, struggling up. ‘Right.’ His voice hardly dares come out. ‘Can I go now?’
Dominic nods.
And before I can show him to the door, Lewis is through my house and out in a flash. His car roars off down the lane.
I turn to Dominic and say, ‘You terrible man.’
‘Yes,’ Dominic agrees with a broad grin, ‘but it was very much fun, Just Janie.’
Chapter Sixty-One
On Monday, Nina is in the staffroom when I arrive. ‘Hey,’ she says.
‘Hey,’ I reply somewhat cagily.
‘Heard all about Lewis.’ Her face breaks into a smile.
I return it. ‘Dominic was pretty impressive,’ I venture. ‘I don’t think that Lewis will be bothering me again.’
‘I only heard the story second-hand,’ she admits. ‘But I think the man pooped himself.’ Nina starts to laugh.
I do too. ‘Well, you shouldn’t mess with the woman of a Maasai warrior.’
