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I should have gone into work this morning, but I couldn’t make myself. The biggest reason is that I just didn’t think I could “people” right now. I have known for a while now that I’m a loner—a definite recluse. If it wasn’t for my job and my son, I probably would go through life not seeing another soul but my immediate family and Bryant and be happy. I’m not like the rest of the crazy Lucas clan, except maybe Blue. He’s just as withdrawn as I am.
“What’s that?” I ask Green, remembering his question and pulling myself from my thoughts. I’m only mildly interested as I finish my doughnut—which my ass definitely doesn’t need, but I decided to eat anyway.
“Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather when I ran into Bryant—”
“It’s not like that’s a huge surprise, Green,” I mutter, ignoring the way my heart flutters in my chest at the mention of Bryant’s name.
He’s always had that effect on me. Divorce never stopped that. Some people get married too young and go on to have healthy relationships. Me? I’m the twisted masochist that will always be in love with the man I demanded a divorce from…
I’m pathetic. I own it, but sometimes, I think Bryant is too. I mean, there’s a reason we had a son together years after our divorce was final. I close my eyes, pushing away the guilt and the pain that always comes with looking too closely at my relationship with Bryant.
“You didn’t let me finish,” he scolds. I lift a brow, giving him an annoyed look, and Green, being just another in a long line of my asshole brothers, laughs. “I was saying,” he grumbles good-naturedly, “Bryant was at Addie’s restaurant, and he was talking about taking another job. I mean, I knew he had a couple of offers, but I didn’t really think he would switch.”
“Why are you telling me this? I gave up knowing where Bryant was spending his days and nights years ago,” I tell him, doing my damnedest not to sound bitter—mostly because I am. I know that’s also ironic since I’m the one at fault. It doesn’t change things, however.
“Could have fooled me. If you ask me, it seems like you both have an unhealthy fascination with knowing where the other is all the time.”
“No one asked you, little brother.”
“Hey, all jokes aside, you need to hear this,” he says, suddenly more serious which sets off little warning bells inside of me.
“Green, it’s Bryant’s business if he switches jobs. He takes care of Terry, and he’s a good father. That’s all that matters when it comes to whatever relationship I have with him,” I tell him, thinking if I say it often enough, one day I’ll make myself believe it.
“He was asking old man Brooks what his hardware store charged for U-Haul trucks, Mags,” he says quietly, and it’s such a simple sentence to deliver the huge blow that it does.
“A U-Haul? What on earth for?” I ask, surprised I can get the words out.
“He’s decided he’s going to leave my old team, Mags.”
“But he loves that job,” I murmur, not believing it.
“Yeah, I know. That’s what floored me,” Green responds and I can still hear the disbelief in his voice. He would feel that way, too, since he’s the one that gave Bryant a recommendation and helped Bryant snag a lucrative deal. It was rough at first because he wasn’t around some weekends when Terry needed him, but luckily, my job allows me to be home anytime Terry is. Bryant never neglected Terry, though. As screwed up as our relationship seems from the outside, we’ve always put our son first and been good to one another.
“I don’t understand,” I mutter, because we’ve always worked together on decisions that would affect our son. Bryant quitting his job would definitely do that.
“He accepted a head trainer position in Washington, Mags,” Green says, his voice going softer.
“Washington? Like the state?” I ask, completely stunned.
“Yeah, he told me that he’s leaving in two weeks. The team already found him a house.”
“How could he make this kind of decision without talking to me? Terry will be devastated,” I whisper, my throat feeling as if it is swollen, irritated and scratchy.
“How are you feeling about it?” Green asks, and I look up at him. I want to tell him I’ll be fine, but he already knows the truth. I see it on his face. I give him a semi-smile, all but plastering it on my face.
“I’m peachy,” I tell him, and suddenly, that doughnut that I wanted so much has soured in my stomach.
“Why don’t I believe you?” Green asks.
“No idea,” I lie. “I better get going. I want to go by the school and check my messages. Then, I wanted to go by the store and get a few things for the house,” I add—totally lying. I keep talking, but the entire time I’m walking to the sink to put my glass in, I refuse to look at my brother. I’m actually annoyed at the fact my brother is here. I feel like my whole world has been rocked on its axis, and I need to be alone.
