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“My name isn’t Chad…”
“I know. You know what? I always thought you were pretty nice to everyone,” I say to Ex-Stephanie, who still looks like she just sucked on the business end of a rotten trash can. “But now I know you’re not that nice at all. You’re kind of an asshole.”
“An asshole?” She hisses. “What about you? You don’t think it’s pathetic that he probably cooked up this whole scheme to get back with me? You’re not doing him any favors by helping him. Anyway, like I could ever be jealous. You’d have to want to be with someone in the first place to be jealous.”
“That’s mean too.”
“Do you think I care? I divorced him for a reason. Because he was useless, but also because I figured out I didn’t have to be with him to have all the money I needed. Yeah, that’s right. You think I actually married you for love?” she sneers at Adam. “Were you really that stupid? I married you because you had money, obviously. Like anyone would ever be with you for any other reason. There really isn’t anything else.”
“He runs an entire company,” I sputter. I’m well aware my face is probably scarlet, and it’s not from humiliation. It’s from sheer rage.
“So? You buy his freaking underwear. I know you do.”
“I…well…who cares? He has better things to do than pick out his own underwear. If that’s what I get paid to do, then that’s what I get paid to do. I don’t actually care. Maybe if you were a decent wife and cared about him at all, you would have bought it, and then I wouldn’t have had to.”
“You buy his underwear?” Brian asks. I don’t know whether he’s disgusted, mystified, or impressed.
“That’s missing the point!” I very nearly stamp my foot. “You just said you married him for his money. How could you say something like that?”
“Uhhh…” Ex-Stephanie lifts a finger to her mouth as she considers that. “Because it’s true.”
I suddenly remember that Adam is here. God. How could I have forgotten? Maybe because I saw red as soon as his ex-wife opened her mouth and started insulting him. Maybe because he’s been so quiet. How. Could. I. Have. Forgotten? His hand is in mine.
I turn slowly to look at him. I want to tell him, with a single look, that I’m sorry. Sorry that he had to hear that. Sorry that he was used. Sorry that he ever thought he was in love with this evil witch. Sorry that I ever thought she was even the least bit decent. Because clearly, she’s not. Not at all.
I can’t get that far, because I’m stopped by his face. God, his face. He looks so…so…horrible. So freaking sad, and so ruined. Destroyed. It looks like he just got tea bagged with a steel-toed boot, repeatedly, but of course, he didn’t, not literally. Just sucker-punched in the worst way. What’s a rich person’s worst fear? A rich person who actually cares? Who has a heart, and who is a good, decent person? That they get used for their money. Hustled, played, whatever.
He wasted years of his life on this total shit bag. She wasn’t even worth a second of Adam’s time.
“That’s great,” Adam says huskily. Even though he’s trying to keep his shit together, emotion is bleeding out all over the place. “Thanks for letting me know. Finally. Could have saved me a ton of time and just asked me for the sixty mil straight up.”
“Sixty mil…mil what? Million?” Brian gasped.
“Shut up,” Ex-Stephanie and I both command at the same time. Poor Brian falls ominously silent, but his mouth is hanging open.
“Well, karma’s a real bitch,” I fire back. “Because he’s clearly just with you for the money and the looks. And you’re pretty, okay? You are. But that fades.”
“The money doesn’t,” Ex-Stephanie retorts.
“That…that could fade too! It could. Whatever. I hope a bird shits on your head.” I glance up at the sky, where a seagull is floating ominously overhead. I stab a finger upward. “That bird. That very one.”
“You’re as pathetic as he is. Why are you defending him?”
“Because! Because he…he’s a good man, which is more than I can say about you.”
“I should certainly hope so. Last time I checked, no penis in sight.”
“Argh! You’re just the worst. You know that? You were married to an amazing man, a man who would have done anything for you. He did do everything to try and make you happy. He gave you everything. The only thing he did wrong was to believe you when you said you loved him back. You’re a user, and that’s gross. No one likes people like you. They’d rather make out with a toilet.”
“He wouldn’t.” She points at Brian.
“I…uh…”
“Why would you hurt him like that? You could have just asked for a divorce, and as everyone else said, you weren’t happy. You could have just walked past us now. You didn’t have to…to say those things! He makes a difference! His company does. Do you have any idea how he pours his whole heart and soul into it? How he cares about every single person at the company? How many lives the charities his company funds have changed?”
“It’s socks,” Ex-Stephanie scoffs. “Please, and whatever. So what if he gives money to charity? It doesn’t mean he can change a lightbulb
.”
