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His reply made me want to pull my hair out. Would you want it to?
I was done with this. I fired off one final message before I shoved my phone back in my bag. I don’t have time for this, Darren. I’ll catch you later. x
A kiss. I added a kiss.
Oh well, fuck it.
I downed my wine and dragged the others back to the dance floor. Those blisters would just have to go fuck themselves.
I was so ready to go home. Sober enough to feel the pain in my heels, drunk enough to limp on regardless, I was sick to death of Lorraine pointing out every hot young guy who was after some and nudging me to go make a slut of myself.
I’m no slut.
Even if I did bang five men at once last weekend.
I didn’t admit to that, of course.
Go get them yourself! I’d insisted, but she’d laughed me off.
Tonya kept shooting me looks, but said nothing. Maybe she thought Lorraine was alright again now they’d bonded some over food and beverage stories.
I let out a sigh of relief as we piled into a taxi.
“Allensmore first,” I said to the driver. “Then onto Pontrilas.”
“No, no,” Lorraine said from the backseat. “I’ll come to Pontrilas, too, get out at Allensmore on the way back.”
I pulled a face at her between the seats. “Why?”
She sighed. “I think I might have left the cafe unlocked. The door around the back. My bad.”
Tonya laughed. “I think it’ll probably either be robbed by now, or safe until morning.”
“I’ll just check anyway,” Lorraine insisted. “Wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise.”
I shrugged. “Pontrilas then, please,” I said.
We made drunken small talk all the way back and the village was upon us in no time. I began directions to mine as we passed Trent’s yard, telling the driver to drive on through the village and up the hill the other side. I rooted in my bag for my keys, and that’s when I noticed my phone flashing.
One message. Darren.
I clicked Open.
Yes, it would bother me if you fucked another man tonight. It would bother me a lot.
My heart leapt, legs all wobbly in the footwell.
We pulled into the village, passing the shop and then the cafe.
Then Trent’s.
The light was still on. I could see the glow through the living room curtains.
“Stop here,” I said, my thumping heart making me feel dizzy. “I’ll walk the rest.”
The driver looked at me. “Here?”
I nodded. “Just here.” I pointed to the pull-in by the fish and chip shop. He stopped next to Darren’s truck.
Lorraine leaned forward and I shoved a tenner into her hand. “My share,” I said.
“What are you doing?” she said. “We’ll take you home.”
Tonya laughed, patted her shoulder. “I think this is where she wants to be.”
I watched Lorraine figure out what was going down. I felt strangely guilty.
“Oh,” she said. “I see.”
I opened the door, gave a load of goodnights.
“Don’t do this, Jodie,” Lorraine said. “It’s a mistake.”
Tonya unclipped her seatbelt, clambered forwards enough to pull the passenger door closed. It left me out in the cold. I smiled as she flashed me a smile. “Go!” she mouthed.
I watched the car pull away with a grin.
Shit.
Oh shit.
What the hell was I doing?
My throat was dry and my legs were all wimpy and useless as I clacked along the pavement up to Trent’s.
He was already outside. Standing at the top of the stairs looking down on me.
I gripped hold of the railing, trying to think what the hell I should say.
He took a few steps down. “I saw the taxi,” he said. He was smoking, of course he was smoking.
“I was…” I began. “I just… your message… I got it in the car…”
A few more steps down, and I could smell his cigarette. I could smell him.
I could feel his stare, even in the shadows, feel those eyes right on mine. “What are you doing here, Jo?”
I sighed. “I’ve had a little wine. I got your message.”
“Are you drunk?”
I sighed again. “A little bit.”
Another step and I could feel the heat from him. He flicked his cigarette away. “The girls are asleep. If you come up… we’ll have to be quiet…”
I nodded. “Yes, yes. I know.”
“Is that what you want? To come up?”
I laughed, this whole thing was so fucking stupid. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. “Do you want me to come up?” I swung myself on the railings, let myself laugh.
I stopped laughing when he grabbed me, his palms on my cheeks like they’d been so many times. His thumbs were rough on my cheekbones, his palms pressed tight. I put my hand on his, took a breath. A drunken breath.
And then he kissed me.
He kissed me so hard I toppled back into the chip shop wall, and he pinned me there. His body pressed to mine, his mouth so hot and so fucking needy. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he took my weight.
