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"Why is that?"
"I don't know. You seem too playful for that."
"Do I really have to tell you how creative math can be?"
No. Of course not. And then the playfulness… it's part him. And it's part front. "True." I take another bite. "Could I do your job?"
"Maybe. You'd charm the pants off stuffy business men."
My cheeks flush.
"But not all of them would respond to your frankness."
"Rich guys don't like hearing they're wrong." And especially not from women.
He nods.
"How do you do it?"
"You doubt my ability to turn on the charm?"
No. Of course not. He's painfully charming. "I think it's harder for you to turn it off."
"It is."
"Why is that?"
"Practice keeping people out." His eyes stay on mine. "I don't offer trust to many people."
Mmm, earning his trust. I want that as much as I want his body. The same need but entirety different. "I understand that."
"Do you?"
"Yeah. I mean, I don't like to hold things back. It makes me feel… dishonest, but full disclosure invites its own problems."
"Most people can't handle the truth."
"Tell me about it."
"I hope you don't change. I love how forthright you are."
"Thanks." My chest warms. "What else do you like about me?"
"Your humility."
I chuckle. "Oh yeah, that's one of your best traits too."
"I know." He pours another cup of coffee. "You're determined. You're funny. You're fucking gorgeous."
"Is that all it is?"
"It doesn't hurt."
"You either. I mean, you're very handsome. You might not have realized it, with all your humility."
He nods of course.
"I really enjoy looking at you."
"I noticed." Intent slips into his voice.
"Right. Those times. And other times. But I also like you. That you challenge me. Dare me. Tease me. And you care, even if you hide it. You care that I'm okay."
"So it's all about you?"
"That is what I said, isn't it?"
He smiles. "You did."
"It's how you make me feel."
"Go on…" His voice dips to something flirty.
It's an invitation and, god, I want to take it.
We have the entire weekend together.
And he likes me.
It's a big deal for him. I'm not sure why—he's way too old to fawn over a crush—but I don't care either. I want to soak in the soft warmth of it. I want to scream it from the mountaintops.
Cam likes me.
Sure, we only have two days as lovers, but after…
We can stay confidants. We can talk about our weeks and our friends and maybe even our new lovers.
No. Not our new lovers, but something. I can't lose him completely. I don't even want to lose this.
Maybe I have to accept it one day. But not today. Not this weekend.
I'm enjoying it. Every second. No matter what happens later.
Life is short. Fuck now. That's what I tell Indie. It's good advice for me too.
Fuck now, talk now, love now.
Not that love is on the table.
Just…
Better to focus on the fucking.
"And this…" I finish my second pancake. "You don't like people after you fuck them. Not normally. But you still like me."
"I do."
"Do you keep fucking people, even though you don't like them?"
"Sometimes."
"Isn't that… weird?"
"I'm used to it."
"So you…" I try to find a way to ask what I want to know. "Do you trust the people you fuck?"
"No." He finishes his coffee.
"Is that why you stay in control?"
"Part of it."
"What's the other part?"
"I like things that way." He sets his mug on the desk. "Is that a problem?"
"No."
"Good." Intent slips back into his voice.
My toes curl. "I like things that way too. I just… want to check in."
"That's responsible."
"Thanks." I think. "You need to be the one leading?"
"Yes."
"Always? Or can I touch you sometimes?"
"You can come here and sit on my lap."
"But could I do it if you hadn't offered?"
"That was an invitation."
Oh. My heartbeat picks up. "Right." I rise. Smooth my shirt.
He motions come here.
I do.
His hands go to my hips. "You can do this." He pulls me into his lap. Then he takes my hand and brings it to his neck. "You can kiss me." His eyes flutter closed. His lips find mine.
It's a soft kiss, but I still feel it in my toes.
He pulls back with a sigh. "You can move closer. Sit on my lap. Touch me when we're dressed."
"When we're not?"
"Then I lead."
"Always?"
"Until I say otherwise." There's hesitation in his voice. Because he doesn't trust me? Or because he doesn't trust himself?
Or maybe this is just what he likes. Maybe there's no deeper explanation.
"Is that a problem?" He hooks his fingers in my shorts.
I shake my head.
"Good." His posture shifts. Into the demanding, in control version of Cam I saw last night. "I've been thinking about fucking you all morning."
Chapter Thirty-One
Sienna
I've been thinking about fucking you all morning.
He pulls me closer. So our bodies are pressed together.
His hand goes to my cheek. His thumb brushes my bottom lip. "I'm in a generous mood."
Mmm.
"Tell me what you want." He slips his thumb into my mouth. "I'll consider giving it to you."
