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My chest squeezed painfully.
“It’s perfect,” I said softly, my throat tight.
Damn him.
Why can’t he just let me be angry with him?
“Is it okay if I hang it up?” he asked tentatively.
“Please,” I answered. He edged closer and gently took the stained glass window from my hands, his fingers brushing mine. Our eyes met and held on for a fraction too long.
Trust your instincts.
Well, my instincts were currently wanting me to abandon my silly pride and messed up fear and kiss him senseless.
Instincts were useless.
I watched as Robert hung the window in the best position to catch the morning sun. It fit perfectly.
“I secretly measured the window a few months ago,” he admitted as if reading my mind. “I ordered it from an artist in Philly. He has a four-month backlog, so it only arrived today.”
“It’s lovely,” I said. “It really is. And not something I would have ever thought to buy for myself.”
Robert’s slow smile almost melted my cold, cold heart. “That’s why I wanted to get it for you. You were so happy with your house. And with the new sunroom. You spoke of how you loved to get up in the morning and have your coffee while the sun came up. And I imagined you sitting in this room with this colorful light all around you…” his words drifted off and he looked embarrassed. “I just wanted to get you something nice. Something from me to you that you could look at and know that I was...I don’t know...thinking of you I suppose.” For a successful attorney, he sure was tripping over his words.
And despite the warm fuzzies I felt at his admission, it was overshadowed by my growing anger.
“You bought this so I would know you were thinking of me,” I repeated.
Robert licked his lips nervously. “Yes. That’s why I bought it.”
“Why? Why did you want me to know that?” I challenged, my irritation growing and growing.
Robert was a smart guy, and he knew he was tiptoeing into dangerous territory. “Because we were spending so much time together. And I thought…”
“Thought what? That we were good buddies? Super awesome friends? Or were you thinking we were going to fuck?” I asked.
Robert looked taken aback. “You’ve been angry with me, Sky. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that. Enough with the crap. Just tell me what I did.”
“I thought you liked me,” I finally said.
Robert blinked. “I did. I do.” He took a step forward. “I like you a lot. So much in fact.”
“Yet when we were together and things were leading somewhere, it was you that shut it down,” I spat out.
Robert opened his mouth. Then closed it. Then opened it again. “I was taking it slow, Sky. I didn’t want to rush you—”
“Bullshit,” I all but shouted. “That’s bullshit and you know it. Look, I appreciate the gift. It’s very thoughtful. But I’m not interested in investing in something that goes nowhere.”
Robert looked confused. “What makes you think it would go nowhere? We were only just getting to know each other. I think that’s a bit of a leap.”
“You know about my ex-fiancé. I told you all about it. About how he hurt me. How I was scared of putting myself out there. How I was terrified of my heart being broken again. And you listened to all that and gave. Me. Nothing.”
Robert wasn’t looking confused anymore. He heard me loud and clear.
“Sky. I’m a private guy. I just need my space in some things,” he tried to explain.
“And that’s fine, Rob. I get it. Some people need their secrets.” I noticed his face was decidedly blank, but I kept going. “But I don’t have time in my life for a man who won’t share with me, particularly when I was trying to be open with him. It makes it feel like a very one-sided...whatever it was we had. I’m not in the market for putting time and effort into something that’s not equal. That’s not the same give and take on both sides. We can be friends because our social lives will inevitably intersect. But I think that’s it.” I let out a breath, a little relieved, a little sad, to say all that. “Do you agree?”
Robert was quiet for a while. He just looked at me, his expression unreadable. And that was the problem. I didn’t expect an open book, but I wanted at least Cliff’s Notes version. He seemed incapable of giving me any of it.
“I don’t know what to say,” he said after a beat.
“And I don’t expect you to say anything.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “You’re a nice guy. We get along. We can simply leave it at that.”
“Okay,” he drew the word out slowly.
More awkward silence as we stood there in the kitchen. The only noise came from Edgar drinking water noisily in the corner.
