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But still, I couldn’t stay calm. Couldn’t be at ease.
Not when my wife was wide open to possible harm. Maybe Julianna was right; I was getting too paranoid or maybe I was just couldn’t risk losing her again.
Fuck no.
Not now, not ever.
She let out a choked sob and my back went ramrod hard. But she wasn’t in any danger. Julianna sniffled as she ran her fingers over the cold tombstone. Over her sister’s name. “I’ll bring your favorite flowers next time and then I’ll tell you if I’m having a boy or a girl.”
She said her goodbyes to Gracelynn and then stood up, wobbling a bit before I wrapped my arm around her waist to steady her. The wind blew through her platinum blonde hair, a few stubborn strands escaping her ponytail. The red hair ribbon caught my eyes and my heart swelled in my chest.
It was the ribbon I gave her, all those years ago, as her fourth courting gift.
I’d have to fill her drawers with new hair ribbons. Of all colors and fabrics. My wife couldn’t have too many hair ribbons. Nope, she’d never run out of them.
Julianna gave me the most breathtaking smile, her grey eyes glassy with unshed tears. Wide and innocent. There was heartbreak in her eyes. But her smile...
Her fucking smile told me that she was ready to move on.
She put her hand in mine, tugging me away from the grave but I dug my feet into the dirt. Julianna scrunched her nose in confusion and I shook my head. “I want some time alone with Gracelynn.”
“Why?” she questioned.
I squeezed her fingers. “I have some things I need to say to her.”
I had unfinished business left to take care of and this needed to be done in private.
Julianna gave me a suspicious look but nodded anyway. I watched as she limped away from the grave. Now that she was heavily pregnant, I've noticed that she moved slower and her limp was somewhat more pronounced. This was why I carry her everywhere. She complained a lot until she realized that there was no point.
Once Julianna had disappeared inside the car, I settled on the ground. Next to Gracelynn's grave. I was silent for a long moment before I cleared my throat.
“I fucked up,” I said to the ghost of Julianna’s sister.
There was a sudden cold breeze and a shudder rolled down my spine. It was almost like she – Gracelynn – was here. Listening to me. Probably judging me. Most likely angry at me. For hurting her sister. For breaking Julianna.
“You left this world, probably thinking that I would be here for Julianna. You loved her and were fiercely protective of your sister, that I know. You thought I would protect her but I left Julianna to the wolves,” I confessed, my voice cracking. “They destroyed her and I hurt her. I hurt her in ways I can’t take back. It’s my deepest regret and I’m not sure I'll ever forgive myself for that.”
Another cold breeze whizzed past me and this time, I was sure Gracelynn’s ghost was here. Probably passing her judgement on me and finding me lacking to be her sister’s husband. But I was here to remedy that.
“Julianna and I took our vows again; this time – it was a real wedding with a proper vow. I lifted her veil, kissed her and carried her away from the altar,” I explained to the grave, as if I was speaking to a real person. “I tried to fix what I messed up. And I’m trying to be the husband that Julianna deserves. I’m not perfect but I can vow one thing. Your sister – my wife – will always be my first choice. My only choice,” I promised with utter conviction. “She spent three years being scared that if I knew the truth of her deception, I wouldn’t choose her. So, I’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure that she knows I will always choose her.”
Running my fingers over Gracelynn’s name, engraved over the tombstone, I allowed myself to finally smile. “Thank you. I like to think that you were protecting her all along while I couldn’t. But it’s okay. You can let go; I’m here to protect her now.”
With those as my final words to Gracelynn – I hoped that her soul could rest in peace now – I walked away from her grave and toward my wife.
The moment I got in the car, I wrapped my arm around Julianna and she curled into me. I let out a staggering breath, in relief. That it was over. She was safe in my arms. We were going back home.
She buried her face into my neck, her cold lips against my skin. “What did you talk about with Grace?”
“That’s between me and her, Princess.”
