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Erika had no idea what had come over her. She had tried to blame the kiss on Jay, but the truth was he was right when he said she had wanted it. Ever since that first, but oh-so brief kiss they shared at the climax of the play, she had been unknowingly craving the pleasure his kiss evoked.
Which was all simply foolishness. There was nothing remotely enticing about Jay Colby. Surely, she would receive the same pleasure from Ryan’s kiss. This, however, did not stop her from fantasizing about that kiss day in and day out, or hunger for his lips whenever she saw him in public.
Unconsciously, her mind travelled back to the boat and of that second kiss. Just as wonderful, if not better than the first. Only to have him reject her. Admit his only intent was to use her. It was low, even for Jay. Moreover, it hurt, more than she cared. For the first time in her life, Erika had come alive inside only to have that life doused.
As she came down the staircase for breakfast the following morning, she was startled to see her grandfather standing with his back to her as he stared into the face of the enormous grandfather clock. At the sound of her approach, he turned around, and the look on his face had Erika’s footsteps faltering.
He looked absolutely thunderous. Never before had she ever seen him look so frightening. Unconsciously, she took a step back.
“I understand you and Jay Colby have been seen kissing.”
Erika blinked, stunned by his words. She had not thought they were close enough to shore to have been spotted.
“In front of the entire town, no less.” His voice was flat, but definitely edged with a sharpness.
She frowned, she hardly thought a few fishermen would constitute as the entire town. “I did not think—“
”No, Erika, you do not think, which is your biggest flaw.” He silenced her with a cold tone to his voice. “Had it been Ryan Colby you had kissed instead there on harbor hill, would have been far less insulting than choosing a man I consider contemptible.”
Harbor hill? She stared at him confused, and then realized he was referring to the kiss at the end of the play. Erika nearly breathed a huge sigh of relief that he knew nothing of the passionate embrace they shared on Jay’s boat.
“My character kissed Jay’s character, if that’s what you heard.”
“Then it’s true,” he said this quietly, but the fierce undertone of his voice caused a small shiver to rake down Erika’s spine.
“It was a scene in the play.” She tried to explain. “It wasn’t real—“
”Is it your intention to humiliate me in front of the entire town?” He bellowed suddenly making Erika flinch.
“Of course not,” she quietly said, feeling tears sting the back of her eyes. He had never taken this tone of voice with her before.
“I am most displeased with you, Erika,” he continued. “You have shamed me once too many!”
“Grandfather, I—“
”I will not have you frolicking about town being seen with that man!” His face was rigid with indignant fury and Erika retreated instin
ctively. “Nor will I allow you to ruin the Snowden name!”
She shook her head, dumbfounded. Surely, he was exaggerating. “I did not mean to hurt you—“
”You have done far worse,” he barked. Then his eyes became narrow slits as he coldly stated, “You betrayed me.”
Erika jerked as if he had literally struck her across the cheek. She knew she had disappointed him greatly when she sided in favor of free schooling, but it was not her intention to go against her grandfather. Rather, she merely meant to stand up for something she as a person, a fellow citizen, felt compelled to do.
Gerald Snowden turned abruptly on his heel and left Erika standing there pained by his verbal attack. A hollow ache throbbed in her chest. An ache she realized with a start had been there a long time.
Ever since the death of her parents, she worked hard to please her grandfather. Wanted his approval. Needed it. Needed his love. But as she heard the door to his study slam, she realized that no matter what she did, she never was able to feel that love.
***
Two weeks went by with no contact with Jay. Erika did her utmost to obey her grandfather. Hating the way his displeasure with her made her feel. And if that meant keeping her distance from Jay, then she would do that. Not that she had any difficulty for he apparently had the same plan on his agenda. Where she felt he had been ignoring her after their performance, he most definitely made himself scarce now.
Erika knew she should have been pleased. His words had stung. But worse, her own actions had embarrassed her.
The day of the ground breaking ceremony for the first common school in Placid, Erika got dressed and came down to breakfast. For the past two weeks, she had been on her best behavior and behaved as her grandfather had expected. Yet, still, his displeasure in her hovered over their heads.
Today was important to her and she wanted to be there. Had to be there. If for nothing else, she had to do this for herself.
