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“Know? Know what?” When he hesitated for a mere second, she demanded forcibly, “Tell me, Doctor. What is wrong with Jay?”
“Erika,” he started, and then paused before continuing, “Jay is sick.”
She felt as if someone had struck her in the stomach. Three little words, but they had such a huge impact. “Sick? How?”
Again a look of reservation, before he relented and said, “I’m not entirely sure, but his symptoms have caused me to suspect he suffers from an unusual form of cancer.”
“You suspect?” She latched on to this small sign of hope. “Then you’re not entirely sure.”
His expression fell. “A few months ago, Jay came to me complaining of chronic headaches. A recent follow up physical exam discovered he had an unusual swelling on his skull.”
A small trembling began somewhere deep inside Erika, but she forced it at bay. She could not afford to break down. “W-what does that mean?”
“More than likely, a tumor has taken form.”
Erika felt her entire body go numb. “A tumor?”
“I believe it was there undetected when he first came to me with his symptoms. It’s been slowly growing ever since.”
“Oh my God.”
“Jay has been aware of his illness but asked I keep it confidential. He preferred no one else to know. Except, of course, his parents who I believe are the only ones he notified.”
“H-how?” Her lip were quivering horribly, but she needed to hear everything.
“I’m not sure,” he admitted. “Science isn’t advanced enough to understand the cause of such a disease. Hopefully, in time, this will change.”
“But he’s so big, so strong, he can’t be sick.”
The doctor nodded in understanding. “Unfortunately, this illness has nothing to do with his strength. Though I will give Jay credit. He is a tough young man to have endured the pain this long.”
Erika felt her heart crack at the thought of Jay suffering silently for so long. “B-but you can heal him, right?”
His expression turned gloomy. “I’ve been watching the tumor’s development closely the recent little while. I knew it would be soon. So did Jay.”
“Wh-what would be soon? What are you saying?” She knew her voice was beginning to rise, but didn’t care.
“We performed a biopsy and were able to determine the cells to be benign. That’s the good news. However, unfortunately, because of its location and slow but steady progression into the main nervous system, this tumor is considered fatal.” The sorrow that filled the doctor’s eyes struck Erika like a blow before his next words sliced opened her chest compl
etely. “I’ve brought Jay here to die, Erika.”
She gasped and felt herself drop, felt the doctor reach for her, felt her world collapse down around her. “No, that can’t be true!”
“I’m sorry,” he quietly offered. “There’s nothing I can do for him now.”
The tears began to fall. Her head spun and her heart ached. Breathing suddenly became difficult. She was gasping for breath and felt the doctor’s hands come around her and lift her gently up into a chair. Her body felt as if it was a separate entity. As if she were floating and observing from above.
She saw the doctor return and hand the woman in the chair—a woman who could not possibly be her—a glass of water and some type of calming tablet. She had gone still, but the tears continued to pour from her lifeless eyes. To Erika that woman was someone altogether different. For in her world, things like this didn’t happen. This all had to be one horrible nightmare.
However, things like this did happen, a little voice reminded her. She wanted to ignore it, force it away, but it would not relent. The memory of her parent’s death came hurdling back, along with an image of a child suffering. A child forced to control her feelings, forced to hold back her tears. A child not allowed to mourn.
Then, like a violent northern storm, all the pain and suffering she endured inwardly for so long came careening back. The death of her parents, her grandfather, his Will, her realization that she did not love Ryan but Jay, and then to have Jay’s rejection. All to come to this horrific climax.
Her heart ached horribly at the thought of Jay suffering all these months in silence. The undeniable pain he bore alone. Only then did she realize his true strength. Here was a man whose greatest strength lay not in his physical person, but in his soul. His strong beliefs in a just society came from a generous and warm heart. All the things her grandfather believed he did not possess, Jay Colby embodied.
From an unknown source, Erika found the strength to get back on her feet and find a voice that sounded foreign even to her.
“How much longer?”
