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“You fulfill me.”
Her pulse quickened and her jaw trembled. On a quivering note, she whispered, “I can’t ever be the woman you want.”
“Ah, there it is. The real reason you won’t allow yourself to love me.”
“I’m not what you want.”
“How do you know what I want?”
“You want someone who is bold, brave and beautiful. I’m none of those things.”
“What I want is you and all your little quirks by my side for eternity.”
Evelina struggled to control her accelerating heart rate. How could it not? His words held dreams and everlasting happiness. All she ever wanted was to be accepted for who she was. Still, Ryan had goals and dreams of his own and she would only hold him back. He would never be happy strapped to a woman like her. “I can’t.”
“I think you’re lying. You are not concerned about me, but yourself instead. I think you are too frightened to take a leap and risk getting hurt again.”
“You need to stop now.”
“Tell me you don’t love me.”
No matter how much she knew she should, Evelina could not say the words that would possibly send Ryan away for good so she remained silent instead.
“Sometimes all you can do in life is take a chance. Nothing is ever guaranteed. I can’t promise you tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, but I can promise you today. Right now, right this moment. After that, life is simply a gamble. But I can tell you this, you’ll never know what awaits you or what opportunities you may miss if you don’t try.”
“I’m not the gambling type.”
Disheartened, he sighed but said nevertheless, “Luckily, I am. Tomorrow at noon, I will be waiting for you at the altar in St. Paul’s Church. I will stand there all day if need be until you show up.”
“Ryan, please—”
“I plan to make you my wife tomorrow. I don’t want another day to pass without you by my side.”
Oh good Lord, he was making it so painful. His words were like a warm caress to her frozen heart. But Evelina dare not yield. She had to remain steadfast. The risk of getting hurt yet again was far too great a chance. “You’ll be wasting your time.”
“I disagree,” he said. “I gambled for your hand once before without my knowledge. This time around, I’m fully aware and want nothing more.”
“Then you’re a fool to put your faith in a gamble.”
“I’m placing my faith with you, Evelina,” he said. “Trust me, just once in your life, and take a leap of faith with me.”
She hated that his words were actually beginning to ignite hope, raise the shroud of loneliness she safely lived within. But it was too much of a risk. He was asking for too much.
“I think you should leave now.”
“Fine. I can see that our arguing is getting nowhere.” He agrees. “But I haven’t changed my mind. Nor have I lost my belief in us. I will be at that church tomorrow. Whether you show or not.”
Their gazes locked and Evelina again felt her resolve weaken. Her body trembled from trying to hold back the tears. “Just go.”
He sighed and gave her one long lasting look before turning on his heal and leaving her alone once again.
Evelina dropped her head into her hands and allowed the tears to finally flow. Her emotions were taking such a beating from being devastated when the sea claimed Ryan, to having him return to her safe and sound. Only to spurn his declaration of love and send him away once again. Life was horribly cruel and at times she felt she was given far too much of her share.
Her bedroom door opened once again but this time her father entered the room. “Is everything alright? Ryan left looking rather upset.”
She felt tears burning the back of her eyes. She knew she had broken Ryan’s heart, but in the end, she knew she was doing the right thing for him. He might have thought he had come to care for her, but the truth was he didn’t know the real Evelina. If he did, he would never had shown her any interest. The only reason he had come to know her at all was because of the Lady Evelina. Without the boat, Evelina herself was nothing.
“I couldn’t, Papa.”
