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Overhead the bells of the church struck the hour.
Noon.
Inside, Ryan was waiting for her. Possibly thinking she wasn’t coming. Perhaps would think she didn’t love him after all. Or worse, think she allowed her fears to overcome her once again.
But not today. No, today she would gamble it all on Ryan. She would face her greatest fear at the risk of being hurt far greater than she ever had been before. Even more than that horrible day twelve years ago. Nevertheless, she was willing to take the risk. Ryan was worth it.
As her father assisted her out of the coach, her family made their way down to the church by foot as it was only a couple blocks south of the Hepworth home.
Evelina noted all the happy excited faces and wished she shared in their joy. As it was, the unknown loomed before her. Ryan claimed to love her but exactly how much was about to be revealed.
Her hand trembled as she rested it in the crook of her father’s arm causing him to glance down at her and give her a reassuring pat. “Everything will be fine, Evie.”
She gave him a wobbly smile not nearly as confident as he, but that stemmed from the fact her father was unaware she intended to confess her secret before Ryan committed an act he might very well later regret once he found out the truth.
Thankfully, St. Paul’s entrance was ground level and possessed no steps allowing Evelina to enter the church on her own two feet—for now.
Once inside, she paused inside the narthex and took a deep unsteady breath. She glanced toward the altar but could only see a couple of feet inside the church along with a few rows of pews from her angle. Her sisters had already seated themselves while her mother stayed back long enough to fuss over Evelina’s attire before hurrying to join her other daughters.
“Are you ready?” Clive whispered with such pride.
Evelina glanced up at her father and desperately wanted to say no, to coward far away somewhere and not risk what she was about to risk.
Knowing what she had to do, she dropped her hand from the crook of her father’s elbow.
“I’ll take it from here.”
His beaming smile drooped. “What do you mean?”
“I’d like to go down alone.”
“Whatever for?”
“Please,” she exclaimed, terrified that if they stood there arguing much longer she would completely chicken out. “I’ll meet you at the altar.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Completely.”
“All right.” He gave her a long searching look before he finally left her standing alone.
She took a couple of steps to follow her father’s entry into the church but stopped just inside the entrance. Standing at the altar, Ryan turned and acknowledge her father. The relief on his face made her stomach do a sorrowful churn. He then glanced back up the aisle toward Evelina. The unadulterated love in his eyes nearly flattened her. He had never looked at her that way before. She caught her breath and let out a silent sob. She so desperately wanted it to be genuine and real but how could it be when Ryan was not in love with the real Evelina. The whole Evelina.
On unsteady legs, she moved slowly down the aisle until she reached the row of pews at the back of the church. Her siblings pivoted in their seats with glowing faces to watch Evelina make her way down the aisle. But that was when Evelina froze. Not certain if she had the strength to go through with it or not until she saw Ryan’s look of pure happiness dim slightly. A small crease formed in his forehead as he stared at her standing at the back of the church refusing to proceed.
She held his gaze for what felt like an eternity. Then sending him a final remorseful glance, she reached out with a nervous hand and clutched the back of the nearest pew. Refusing to take her eyes off his face, she reached down and lifted the hem of her skirts. She wavered slightly, terrified by what she was about to do, but knowing that if she stopped now she would never go through with it.
Sliding her hand beneath several layers of skirts and petticoats that helped to conceal what lied within; she reached under her chemise to just above her knee to where a leather strap circled her thigh. She hesitated for a split second reevaluating what she was about to do, then with false confidence proceeded to unlace the strings that secured the strap in place, all the while watching the growing confusion on Ryan’s face.
A small ripple of dismay rolled through the pews as her siblings exchanged alarmed glances. Th
ough she dare not take her gaze off Ryan, her peripheral vision noted her father to the left of him and could almost sense the tension overcoming his stance as he knew exactly what she was about to do. Yes, he would be anxious, Evelina thought. He knew her secret had scared off far too many suitors.
Untying the last string, she proceeded to remove the leather strap and pulled off the metal gadget attached to it. The contraption ran the length of her leg and chaffed her skin raw with every step she took. Hence, the reason why she moved slowly and deliberately in an attempt to try to ease the excruciating pain the artificial device caused just so she could walk. Not to mention to disguise her horrific disfigurement.
From under her skirts, she withdrew the apparatus that had substituted as her missing appendage for the past twelve years. The top portion of the brace secured to her leg while the bottom half resembled that of a human limb in the form of a wooden foot and acted as a replacement to the one missing just above her anklebone.
She would never forget that horrific morning that fateful day. She had been down there playing on the rocks, waiting for her father to come home from one of his endless voyages. She had wanted desperately to go with him. Begged and pleaded but girls were not allowed. He promised when he returned he would take her sailing out on the Lady Evelina. Just the two of them. She had been overcome with happiness and excitement. He couldn’t return home fast enough. She was anxious for his arrival and was down at the harbor daily. But his ship never came into port. Day after day, she waited. Her excitement grew less and less. Then the evening of the storm, she ran down to the docks praying he had returned safely. When he had not, she climbed the rocky bluffs in hopes of spotting his ship out in the stormy distance.
