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Nora
“Happy birthday, Nora!” My youngest sister, Grace, squeals the greeting as she throws her arms around me, and I have to force a smile.
“Thank you,” I say, hugging her back.
It’s not that I hate my birthday, and this isn’t a ‘big year’—I’m twenty-six today—but I have been feeling a little down lately about all the things I wanted for my life that haven’t happened yet. I always pictured myself married to the man of my dreams, with a big family and a passport full of stamps.
The fact that my sister Cassidy and my best friend Brooklyn have both gotten married and started their families in the past year only makes me more aware of the fact that my own life is lagging behind. I’m the oldest of the three of us, and the oldest girl in the family, after all. I should have gone first down the aisle!
Cass and Brooks are both here tonight, with their perfect husbands, helping me celebrate my birthday and honestly, they’re so dang happy… glowing, even… I can’t exactly hold it against them.
I can, however, secretly wallow in jealousy.
“Ooh, you have to meet Taylor,” Grace says as she takes my hand and practically drags me away from the door.
“Who’s that?”
“My boyfriend,” Grace beams. “He just asked me out officially last week! Mom said I could invite him tonight.”
Et tu, Grace? Even the eighteen-year-old is getting more action than me.
We go through the house and out the back door, to a large patio area with a fire pit that my parents built at the beginning of the summer. They’ve been doing a lot of renovations lately, starting with the four empty bedrooms upstairs as us kids slowly move out, but they won’t tell us what it’s all for.
Cassidy thinks they’re getting the house ready to sell once Grace graduates high school and leaves the nest, but I keep telling her there’s no way Mom and Dad would ever part with this house—our home.
“Hey, there’s the birthday girl!” Brooklyn calls the minute Grace and I come outside. She and her husband, Prescott, lift their wine glasses to me, and Mom comes over to wrap me in a hug.
“I made all your favorites for dinner tonight,” she says, “and Dad’s going to build a fire in a little while so we can do s’mores for dessert.”
“Yummy.” I lick my lips at the thought, my mood brightening. What can I say? I’m a child at heart, easily won over by marshmallows and chocolate. Besides, even if my life hasn’t turned out how I imagined it, I still have the best family in the world, and I get to work with my sister and my best friend at the library, in a job I love.
Life is not so bad, and sometimes when the universe takes too long, you just have to make your own dreams come true.
The party is great and the food is incredible as always. But Cassidy and Brooklyn duck out early to spend the evening with their men, and I go home not much later than them. I’ve got something on my mind and my birthday seems as good a day as any to do something about it.
I live in a cute little Cape Cod within walking distance of my parents’ house. I’m renting for now, and it’s a pretty small house on a postage stamp of a lot—all I need at this stage in my life, but one day, I want what my parents have. I want the big house filled with kids and love and laughter, and the big back yard where I can watch them play… ideally with a hunky husband at my side, but I’ll do it alone if I have to.
And that’s what I’m thinking about when I go inside, get changed into some comfy clothes, and curl up in bed with my laptop.
I go to the Golden Creek Fertility Center website—Google says I’ve been here ‘many times’—and click on Book an Appointment. Then I pause, looking at the calendar options the site gives me.
A family of my own is all I’ve ever wanted since I’ve been an adult. I’m twenty-six years old today and I feel like I’ve been patient long enough. I’m done waiting around for Mr. Right.
He’s sure as hell taking his sweet time, and I’m not convinced he’s coming at all.
There’s a little flutter of anxiety in my chest as I click the calendar and select next Friday because that’s when I’ll be ovulating. It’s Saturday now, so I’ve got just under a week to come to terms with the fact that, after months and months of research, sperm donor selection, and internal debate, I’m finally doing this.
I’m starting my family, with or without a partner.
And I’m completely draining my savings account because IVF is expensive AF.
Yikes.
As soon as I click Submit to make my appointment, I take a deep breath and sit back. In one week, I could be pregnant, on my way to becoming a single mom, broke as hell but living my dream.
