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I just hope I'll be Dex's final choice. But if it's between me and Lily Anna... it's always going to be a losing game, because I'll never measure up to the perfect, beautiful girl who came before me.
17
Dexter
Pandora Oakes has left me a mess. I miss her. I don't want to admit it, but I feel alone. Lonely. Ready to call her and demand she come back, right the fuck now. But I have other problems I need to deal with. Namely a very pretty prisoner I need to set free.
I contemplate my next step for days. I need to be careful, calm and collected when I deliver the news. I have a feeling Lily Anna won't react well, but I don't have a choice. I'm more determined than ever to get out of this town, to escape with Pandora in tow. The only person standing in my way is the girl locked in my house.
I knock on the door to tell her I'm coming, then unlock it and walk inside. She's sitting on her mattress, her eyes lighting up when she sees me. She picks herself up with barely held back excitement and I hate myself for what I'm about to do to her. She doesn't deserve this. She doesn't even know what's coming...
"Hi," I say gruffly.
"Hello." She's careful, apprehensive, and she should be. "Everything oka
y? It's not dinner time yet..."
I sit down cross-legged on the hardwood floor. She sits next to me, crawling closer on all fours. I can't even look at her, can't risk Lily Anna seeing the truth in my eyes.
"What's wrong?" She knows already. She knows something's off, and I'm about to destroy her.
"I'm thinking about leaving town." I deliver the words with finality, but I know full well she'll fight back.
"Oh?" Her brows shoot up. "Where are we going?"
"Not we, Lily Anna." I groan, running my fingers through my hair. "Just me."
"What about me?"
"You'll be free." This time, I finally meet her eyes, expecting her to be thrilled since I'm finally giving her what she's been asking for all along. "Isn't that what you wanted, Lily Anna?"
"I want to be with you." She crosses her arms stubbornly and glares at me. "Why are you thinking about leaving me?"
"I need to get out of here," I mutter. "This town is toxic and I'm fucking done with it."
"Then take me with you." She scoots closer and takes my hands in hers, holding them to her racing heart. "Please, I'll be good, just take me with you..."
"I can't."
"Why not?" Now she sounds angry. Her emotions are so unpredictable, it scares the fuck out of me sometimes.
"Because I..." I ponder my words before finally deciding to tell her the truth. She deserves it after everything I've done to her. "I'm leaving with someone else."
"Lai or something?" She narrows her eyes at me. I shake my head. "Who then?"
"Pandora."
"Pandora?" She repeats the name in shock before rolling her eyes. "You can't be fucking serious. The fucking imposter little girl who took my spot?"
I don't answer her. Our gazes lock, threatening to burn each other down.
"You love her?" she asks, and I don't answer. This makes her bottom lip wobble, and she crawls closer to me, desperate hands grabbing me, clinging to me. "Tell me you don't love her, Dexter."
I look into her eyes. I don't have to answer. She knows the truth already.
Lily Anna screams then, starting to hammer my chest with her little fists. I make no move to stop her. I deserve her rage, deserve her taking this anger out on me when I've been fucking with her head for years. A part of me even hopes she'll break skin, draw blood. I deserve that, too.
"You're a monster," Lily Anna hisses at me. "I should've known you'd do this to me."
