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I whimper, trying to reach out to him, but he's too far away, and I'm lost in the darkness again.
It pulls and pulls, demanding I fall deeper, give into the current.
But I struggle against it as much as I can.
I struggle, because I won't lose him again.
I want Dexter Booth, and no one is taking him away from me.
"Pandora, fucking please, please, I'm begging you. Please, toy. Please."
My eyes flutter open but can't hold position. I feel so heavy and so light at the same time.
"Stop it, Dexter," I mutter, but this time the words feel different than they did in the dream. They're heavier, carrying more of an implication. "Just fucking stop it."
"Look at me, toy, please—just look at me. I need to see those pretty eyes."
A hand grabs my cheeks and my eyes fly open, adrenaline coursing through my veins. I struggle against the unwanted, unfamiliar touch.
"Stop resisting," Dex hisses. "Look at me."
And I do. I force my eyes open, and I look deep into his. It's not a dream this time, it can't be. I used to know those eyes like the back of my hand. But they're different now. Darker. The pools seem deeper. There's pain in them. There was pain before, but it was sharp and deep. The new kind is layered. One thing on top of another. Too many sad things to count, all of them pushing down on Dex.
I let out a sob as he embraces me.
"Where is she?" I manage, finally waking up, even if I'm slowly losing consciousness again. "Where is Lily Anna with the baby?"
Dex pulls back and smooths my hair off my face, but I know it's just a distraction tactic.
"Where are they?" I roar.
"We don't know," Dex admits brokenly. "We're trying to find them."
"You have to go after them." I trip over the words in an effort to get them all out as soon as possible. "She left with the baby in a car seat. It must have been ages since she left. Go, Dexter, go... Please..."
"Emilian went after them," he mutters, holding me close. "He'll find them."
"You have to help him." I'm crying again. Whether it's out of relief that he found me and I'm alive, or out of fear for my baby, I don't know. "You have to find my baby."
"I have to help you," Dex mutters. "Did you see this place? It's a fucking mess..."
I take a look around, only then realizing I'm still on the floor atop a mess of once white sheets that are now drenched in blood. My blood.
"I called an ambulance," Dexter goes on. "And I'll go with you to the hospital."
"No, no, Dex. Please, don't do that!" I grab him desperately, clinging on to his jacket. "You have to go after Lily Anna, you have to stop her!"
"If I have to pick, I'm picking you," he mutters. I don't even know if he's aware he said that out loud. He looks pale as a ghost.
"Pick the baby, Dex," I whisper, but he shakes his head silently and pulls me onto his lap. I feel his fingers caressing my cheeks as the darkness creeps in with its dark, shadowy fingers. This time, I give in gratefully, because even the fucked up dream I had before would be better from my messed up reality.
12
Dexter
I stay by Pandora's side, holding her hand, until the paramedics arrive. She drifts in and out of consciousness, her accusatory eyes on mine every time they fly open.
I know she thinks I should've gone after Lily Anna. But I can't bring myself to leave my toy alone. She's in danger. I know it the moment the paramedics arrive and I see the grave expressions on their faces. They pry her hand away from mine and load her onto a gurney. They allow me to get in the ER van after I insist I'm not fucking leaving.
