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My eyes were still closed.
“Open your eyes, Stella,” he commanded, both hands on my neck now.
Shaking, I did so. I didn’t look down at the ring that he’d put on my finger. Didn’t want to or need to. Everything I needed was in his eyes.
“Even though I don’t deserve to be the man standing beside you, I’ll be in front of you my whole fucking life. I’ll protect you from the world, Stella.” He stroked my face again. “From everyone and everything except me. And I’ll love you until my last fucking breath.”
Tears ran down my face, and Jay wiped them with his thumb.
“You told me you didn’t do romance,” I whispered, my voice hoarse with tears.
He leaned in to kiss me gently. “I lied,” he shrugged one shoulder. Just a tad.
Later, much, much later, I looked at my finger. Sitting on it was a perfect, oval cut, four carat, solitaire, gold diamond ring. Simple yet unlike anything I’d seen before.
“In my life, I haven’t made it a habit to do what anyone says,” Jay told me as I admired it in our bed, naked. “But I found it impossible not to listen to Wren, on this, because this is fucking perfect.”
“Yeah,” I whimpered through more tears. “It is.”
And I definitely was not talking about the ring.
Three Days Later
“I was thinking...” I mumbled sleepily into Jay’s chest, drawing circles on it lazily. The hand that felt gloriously heavy now. “Of going to see my mother.”
“Okay,” he replied. His hands were tight around me, his palm pressed against my ass.
I frowned into the darkness. “Okay?” I repeated. “That’s all you’ve got to say?” The accusation and snark in my tone was unwarranted, but I couldn’t help it. My mother was a vulnerable subject to me, and I was all open wounds whenever she was mentioned.
Jay’s arms tightened around me as if he was expecting my escape.
“What would you like me to say, Stella?” he asked evenly.
I blew air out between my lips in a huff. “I don’t know. But you always have something to say. You always...” I trailed off.
He always saw clearer in to myself than I did in times like these. I wanted him to tell me it was a great idea or warn me against making a big mistake. One that could potentially fuck me up for the years to come.
I’d been managing my fears when it came to my mother, her illness, what could become my illness. First, because I was in so much pain over losing Jay that at one point, I’d thought some version of insanity might actually be welcome. Then because Jay was back in my life, swallowing up all my fears. For a while, at least.
Now we were back to normal. Or our new normal. My regular fears were coming back, and even with all of Jay’s magic, he couldn’t take them away from me. Only I could do that.
“If you want me to make the decision for you, Stella, I won’t do that,” Jay stated. “This is up to you. Whatever choice you make is what I will support.”
I sighed. “Where has my alpha male dominant gone?” I moaned.
Suddenly, I was no longer on Jay’s chest. I was on my stomach, arms above my head.
“Hold onto the headboard, Stella,” he murmured in my ear.
Despite this evening’s festivities, he was hard against me, pushing against the cleft of my ass.
“You feel that?” he asked against the back of my neck. “That’s me, being that alpha male dominant. If you want some more of that, I’ll spank your ass, then I’ll fuck it.”
I held my breath, unable to speak, my body thrumming with need. I had not thought I would be a woman who was in to ass play. Turned out I was. In a big fucking way.
“Yeah,” he hissed. He pressed harder still, hard enough for me to sink my teeth into my lip, then he pulled away, his weight lifting from me.
I sighed in ... relief? Disappointment?
“I am willing to control many things about your life, Stella,” he murmured. “Some areas you are more than okay with.” He kneaded my ass. “Others, you are not. Others, you will fight me on, tooth and nail. Which is what infuriates me about you yet has me infatuated with you.” He stroked my face. “But this is the one thing I won’t control, won’t take from you. This is your decision to make. I trust you to make the right decision.”
I pursed my lips and did my best not to let the tears prickling the backs of my eyes fall. Although it didn’t seem possible, I fell in love with this man more and more every day.
Chapter 8
Two Weeks Later
“Hey mom,” I said while smiling weakly, my voice small and unfamiliar.
My stomach was in knots, and I hadn’t been able to eat a single thing today. There was plenty of delicious food on board the private jet we’d taken to Missouri. The one that Jay had obviously hired to take me here when I’d made the decision to come. No way I could possibly fly coach in a plane without him.
