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We didn’t go to the VIP area because Wren got morning sickness at night, and Yasmin was going to hang out with her at her place ... along with Phillipe, of course. Zoe had a party to go to for work. We’d all parted with hugs, congratulations and plans to go shopping for ‘therapy’ the next day.
As much as it made me a horrible person, I was glad I didn’t have to hang out with my friends for the rest of the night.
Unlike what normally happened, my body did not relax as I stepped off the elevator and walked into Jay’s office at Klutch. Instead, I found myself feeling more uneasy.
As he always did, Jay noticed that something off with me the second my heels began to click on the hardwood floor.
“Come here,” he demanded instead of asking me what was wrong.
I did as I was told, moving slower than I would’ve under normal circumstances, and in normal circumstances, I would’ve damn near sprinted onto his lap. Jay noticed this, too, his eyes following my entire journey.
As soon as I was within touching distance, Jay grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me onto his lap. One arm circled my hip while the other moved in between my thighs, brushing the edge of my panties.
Despite everything that was going on, my body tingled with need for him to move his fingers from the outside to the inside of my panties. He didn’t do that, though. Because he sensed it, the unease that was radiating off me, that was likely forming in a pinch just between my eyebrows.
“Wren’s pregnant.” My voice sounded weird and echoey in my own ears.
“I know,” Jay replied.
I stared at him. “You know?” I repeated.
“Karson spoke to me.” Wanted to make sure that we’d have extra cover on her now.”
I gritted my teeth. “Of course he told you. Not because he’s your best friend or anything, but because you had to discuss protecting her from the Russian Mob.” I couldn’t contain the bitterness in my tone. The bitterness that had been brewing since dinner tonight.
It did not mix with martinis.
Jay didn’t respond to this considering there wasn’t much to say to my snarky tone. As silence descended between us, I moved my gaze from Jay to the writhing bodies on the dance floor below, thinking about how, a lifetime ago, I was just another writhing body unaware that Jay even existed. It was almost impossible to imagine there was a time when Jay hadn’t existed in my life.
He seemed unhappy with me looking out on the dance floor, contemplating the past, because he took my chin between his thumb and forefinger and forced me to look at him once more.
In his eyes was a silent demand for more. For everything that was eating at me. And I was not one to refuse Jay.
“We haven’t talked about kids,” I searched his irises for a response. “Not since New Zealand. And I’m not on birth control. And I know that it’s terrible of me to be thinking of myself in the midst of Wren’s news, but I can’t help it. I want kids. Maybe not now, but I need to know that you still want them. And I know that you have a lot going on right now, with the Russian Mob and all that.” I waved my hand dismissively.
“So maybe you’re not thinking about kids or you’re not thinking about the fact that we’ve been having a lot of sex without birth control, but I’m thinking about it,” I babbled. “Thinking both about what your feelings would be if I did get pregnant and then worrying that we’ve been having a lot of sex, yet I’m not pregnant. What if I’m barren? And I know that probably wouldn’t be a big deal for you since you never even wanted kids in the first place, but it is a big deal for me.”
I sucked in a huge breath, realizing I’d just dumped about three months’ worth of worries on to Jay’s shoulders. As if he didn’t have enough to think about, as if we weren’t meant to be easing in to the whole ‘kids’ thing, and I was supposed to be trying to play it cool. This totally wasn’t cool.
Instead of pushing me off his lap, declaring me insane and calling off the wedding, the corners of Jay’s mouth turned up, and he pulled me in to kiss me. Thoroughly.
I kissed him back. Thoroughly.
His fingers were on the insides of my panties when we were done, and I’d almost completely forgotten what we were talking about.
Almost.
On top of that, Jay was looking almost amused— turned on, too, but mostly amused. Then I remembered everything I’d just spilled and got pissed off.
“You find everything I just said funny?” I barked, trying to get off his lap, but his hand—the one that was not in my panties, stopped me.
