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I glanced up at Cassie’s best friend standing on the stairs with my little brother. Dean was only a couple years younger than I was, but he’d always be little to me, even if he did almost match my height. My eyes were heavy, my head pounded, and I simply nodded.
“Come on, bro, let’s get you inside. ” Dean wrapped an arm around my back and propelled me up the cement staircase as Melissa unlocked the front door to her apartment and stepped inside.
“Did you see her?” she asked, tossing all her crap on top of the kitchen table.
“I saw her,” I responded coolly, adding my hat to the mess as I dropped into a chair at the table.
“Well, what the hell happened? What did she say?” she demanded, gesturing wildly.
“She left. ” I shrugged. “She’s moving to New York. ”
“Well, of course she’s moving to New York,” she said, her voice turning cold.
Dean placed a hand on my shoulder, before explaining, “Melissa just means that Cassie has to start living her life for herself. She has to make decisions that have nothing to do with you. ”
The words hurt like hell. I jerked my head up, glaring at my little brother. “I know that. You think I don’t know that?”
“Do you? Do you really, or did you think she’d just leap into your arms and you’d live happily ever after?” Dean shot back, his voice filled with accusation.
A quick huff ripped from my lips, and I smiled sheepishly. “I thought there might be some leaping,” I admitted, shrugging one shoulder.
Melissa’s usually sweet mouth twisted into a snarl. “That’s bullshit, Jack. You expect her to give up her career because you asked her to?”
“I didn’t ask her to give up her career. I just figured she’d at least talk to me. Postpone her flight. Give me a fucking chance. ”
“Like the way you gave her a chance before you married that skank?”
“Melissa,” Dean chastised softly, touching her arm in a way that somehow managed to erase the anger from her face.
My chest tightened and my jaw clenched as Melissa’s assumptions pierced me like the daggers they were. “You think it didn’t fucking kill me to leave Cassie that night? All I wanted to do was stay with her, beg for her forgiveness and—”
“But you didn’t! You didn’t stay with her. You left her crying in a parking lot alone while you left with that bitch!” Melissa screamed as she released every ounce of frustration she’d built up on behalf of Cassie, her recrimination drilling into my skull and my heart.
“I know what I did!” I shouted back, my neck throbbing. “You think I don’t fucking know what I did? I have to live with it every second of every day. I fucked up, OK? We all know I fucked up!” I slammed my palms against the table and watched as some loose change rattled and rolled onto the carpet below, bringing back memories of my first date with Cassie. My mind filled with the image of her sitting across from me in that small booth in the back of the restaurant. I remembered pulling the paper bag from my jacket and pouring the quarters out onto the tabletop, proud of my cleverness, as several rolled onto the tiled floor below. All of the memories that used to bring me joy now filled my heart with pain.
“It’s not enough to just know what you did if you want to make it right. You have to know what it did to her,” Melissa said, her voice starting to soften.
I glared at her, willing my temper to subside. “Tell me. ”
“Everyone knew what you’d done by the time Cassie got back from visiting you in Alabama. It was all over the newspapers that you were getting married. And on Facebook. Did you know that the stupid school magazine she worked for had the balls to call and ask her for pictures of you? They said they only had old ones and wanted to know if she had any newer ones. ”
“You’re kidding?” I spat out in disgust.
“I wish. ”
My hands balled into fists. “I’ll fucking kill them, the inconsiderate little—”
She pointed an accusing finger at me, stopping me in mid-rant. “It wasn’t just the newspapers, Facebook, and the magazine. It was everywhere she went. School was the worst. Cassie couldn’t even walk across campus without people making comments and snide remarks. She had the most personal and painful moments of her life on display for everyone to see and judge. And trust me, everyone had an opinion about your breakup. ”
I cringed. Just hearing this was painful enough; I couldn’t imagine my girl having to live through it. “I had no idea that was happening or I would have done something to stop it. I would have made sure no one ever said another negative word to her again. ”
“I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad, Jack. I’m telling you this so you’ll understand the repercussions your actions had on her. You made the mistake, but she had to pay for it. ”
I dropped my head into my hands and pulled at my hair in frustration, my fingers twisting the strands as I fought back the tears forming in my eyes.
“You broke her, Jack. ” Melissa added the final blow as my stomach dropped to my feet. I’d hurt Cassie in ways I’d never imagined. Ways I’d never meant to. Ways I’d never be able to forgive myself for.
“I broke me too,” I admitted, brushing away the lone tear that dared sneak down my face.
