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“What do you mean?”
“When something happens, we’re supposed to vote on the punishment. But I didn’t take a vote. I just told him to leave.”
I could have issued David a warning and allowed him to stay in the fraternity, but I knew I’d never be able to look at him without wanting to pummel him. And he needed to learn that his behavior wasn’t okay. I realized he was drunk out of his mind at the time, and he apologized profusely when he saw me later, but he needed to learn how to hold his liquor. Yeah, this was college and we all made mistakes, but that was one mistake I refused to condone.
My decision didn’t earn me any friends. The guys in the house were pissed at me over it. We were supposed to be a democracy and take a vote on whether he should be kicked out. When I removed him without the vote, they said I was making an example out of David because it was Jess he did it to. They claimed that if it had been some other girl, any other girl, I would have been more lenient, more willing to listen to reason.
I didn’t want to think about just how right they might have been. I wanted to believe that no matter who it had happened to, my reaction would have been the same, but the truth was that I didn’t honestly know. And I didn’t like the way that made me feel about who I was as a person.
There had been so much about my character that I’d struggled with lately that this only added to it. One more thing I needed to do some soul searching about, but I pushed it deep down inside instead. It was easier avoiding the hard truths than meeting them he
ad-on.
Epic Embarrassment
Jess
Nick and I had been officially dating for a couple of weeks now, and the death stares from other girls had pretty much stopped.
I knew the routine. They were probably biding their time until our relationship ended, which was what usually happened when it came to Nick and the girls he dated.
That fear stayed firmly rooted in the back of my mind at all times, that we had an expiration date. I wanted to think that this was different, that I was different, but what if that was how every girl felt when they were with him?
I assumed they must have.
I tried to keep my feelings within reason when it came to him, but I struggled. Everything Nick did made me fall for him more. The confident, arrogant guy I’d seen from afar was still both of those things, but there were so many more layers underneath those two superficial ones. There was much more to Nick than I could have ever imagined, and I found it hard to believe that he had shared the things he had with me with all those other girls as well.
Rachel walked through the front door and slammed it behind her. “Please tell me that Nick asked you to formal,” she shouted as she entered her bedroom.
I could have sworn I’d already told her that he had. I knew for a fact that I had told her; there’s no way I would have kept that to myself.
“What’s formal?” I shouted back to her, completely teasing.
“Shut up, dummy. I know Nick asked you. You told me already.”
“Then why are you acting like you don’t know?” I sat there confused as all hell.
“Because I’m going crazy right now.” She wrung her hands as she entered the kitchen.
“Why?” I asked, still not having any idea what her deal was.
“Because Trevor asked me to go with him.”
I squealed like an annoying girl. “Shut up! Wait a second, you and Trevor? Are you two back together? What happened with you guys last year, anyway?”
She smiled and squirmed a little. “I was an idiot. I broke up with him because I never thought he really liked me.”
“Wait, what? Anyone with eyes could see how crazy he was about you.”
“I always questioned everything. The parties, the other girls, the constant presence of the sorority girls. All of it. I felt like I was always competing for his attention, so I took myself out of the equation completely. It seemed easier that way, but it hurt a hell of a lot.”
Her admission shocked me. Rachel wasn’t the kind of girl who lacked confidence or seemed competitive like that—she was one of the fiercest girls I knew. I never realized that under her tough Latina exterior lay a girl with normal fears like the rest of us.
“I would have never guessed.”
“What can I say? I was an immature, idiotic freshman. Also, first year is super overwhelming. I didn’t handle anything that year very well.”
“It was a huge adjustment.”
