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Ryan raked his hands through his hair, as if the idea of reconciling the man he knew with the one I talked about was almost impossible. “Okay. I can’t— I just can’t deal with this right now. It’s beyond fucking crazy to me. It’s crazy. You do know that, right, Nick?”
My throat was tight as I tried to swallow. “It’s all I’ve ever known, really. I’m used to it.”
Frank slammed his hand down on the bar top. “No! You’re not used to it. You don’t get to be used to it, Nick. It’s fucked up. This whole thing,” he said, his eyes a little wild, “everything you’re saying . . . it’s so fucked up.”
I threw up my hands in defeat. “Bro, I don’t know what you want from me.”
Ryan and Frank shared another quiet look that told me everything. They’d be discussing this later without me present. They didn’t like the things I was telling them, and that both terrified and excited me. I’d never had anyone stand up for me before, and God only knew I needed all the help I could get. I’d never been able to stand up to Dad on my own. When I was a kid, I was too young, and by the time I got old enough, it seemed too hard to change. It was easier to just roll with it, especially with how intense and angry he got when he even thought I was challenging him.
Ryan downed his beer before he turned to pour three shots. “Enough of that. Let’s get back to Jess. What did you say to her last? What happened?”
“Yeah, little brother. I want to hear this.”
Frank took over the bar stool next to mine. Ryan passed each of us a shot, and we downed them without question.
“I might have told her I was coming up there to get her and bring her home.” I couldn’t look them in the eye when I said the words, too afraid of the judgment I’d see there.
Ryan burst out laughing. “Oh, that’s rich. Are you kidding?”
Frank leaned toward me, forcing me to meet his gaze. “You told her you were coming up there to bring her home?”
“Yeah.”
“Why would you say that exactly?” he asked as Ryan propped his elbows on the bar and rested his chin on his hand.
“Because her old roommate said she hated it. She told me that Jess was miserable up there. And I’m fucking miserable down here without her,” I said, hoping my reasoning sounded as logical as it seemed to me.
Frank glanced around us at the empty bar, then met my gaze. “So if you’re supposed to be up there bringing her home, why the hell are you here with us?” He frowned at me, apparently not too thrilled with me at the moment.
“She told me not to come, okay?”
“Wait.” Ryan squinted at me. “Did she say those words exactly . . . ‘Nick, don’t come up here?’ Or what did she say? Gimme more info.”
Frank groaned and leaned his head back in frustration. “Sometimes, Ryan, I swear to God. You’re such a fucking chick.”
Ryan gave him a shit-eating grin. “For your information, I’m romantic. The ladies love romance.”
“Then why don’t you have a lady in your life?” Frank fired back, and Ryan grabbed his heart, pretending to be wounded.
“Because I haven’t found the right woman yet, okay?”
“Lord knows you try.” Frank scoffed and exchanged a glance with me, hinting at Ryan’s serial-dater ways.
“I’d rather try and find the right one than be stuck in a relationship I can’t get out of,” Ryan shot back before sucking in a breath. “Shit, dude, I’m sorry. Too far.”
A muscle jumped in Frank’s jaw. “It’s fine.”
He had moved his live-in girlfriend, Shelby, here to LA with him when he relocated from Arizona to open the bar, rather than breaking up with her like both Ryan and I told him to do. Apparently he’d felt obligated somehow, as if he owed it to her to bring her along for this transition. We both knew that Frank felt stuck, but he hated talking about it. He was too nice a guy to break Shelby’s heart, so he stayed miserable instead. And he kept it all in.
“Let’s get back to harassing Nick. It’s much more fun,” Ryan said with a laugh. “Tell me what happened on this call.”
Grimacing, I pushed my shot glass in his direction. “I might need another shot.”
Ryan turned his back to fill our shot glasses one last time. I downed mine quickly, letting the burn course through my throat all the way to my stomach before starting.
“I called her and told her I wanted to come get her and bring her home where she belongs.”
“Did she like that caveman crap?” Frank said, interrupting.
