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Ryan walked me outside the bar, scanning for any signs of Derek before helping me into my car and hopping in the passenger seat.
“I thought you were following me,” I said.
“I am, but you’re driving me to my car first. I don’t want you to be alone. He seemed off, right? Like he was on something, maybe?” Ryan glanced in the side mirror, keeping an eye out for anyone following us.
“I don’t know,” I said because I honestly didn’t. “I haven’t seen him since before Matson was born.” As Ryan directed me, I drove around the bar, making my way to the back lot where he and his brothers parked.
“Why not?”
“His family wanted me to have an abortion. They thought I got pregnant on purpose, and accused me of wanting Derek’s money. He broke up with me the day I told him, instead of waiting until after we graduated like he had planned. I was seventeen and terrified. And I was about to have a baby that no one but me wanted.”
“And Derek said nothing?”
“He and his family fell off the face of the earth. At least, in my world they did. Not a single call, text, or email. I eventually blocked them on social media to avoid exactly this happening, but to be honest, I figured if they hadn’t shown up by the time Matson was two, they never would.”
“Sofia . . .” Ryan said my name so softly, it almost sounded like he pitied me.
“Don’t feel sorry for me,” I said sharply. “I don’t want or need that.”
“Hey, I wasn’t feeling sorry for you, but I’m allowed to think that story sucks. Because it does.” He was adamant, his tone honest and kind. Ryan cared about me, that much was apparent.
“You’re right. It is a crap story. But it’s only a part of mine. And I don’t feel bad about it anymore. It’s in the past, you know?”
He reached for my chin, gently turning my face toward his. “I’m not sure I’ve ever met anyone as strong as you.”
Ryan’s compliment made me uncomfortable. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard those words, but they always sounded strange to me.
My life was what it was, hard times and all. But what were people supposed to do when faced with hard times? Quit? Give up? Those never seemed like real options to me, so I always did whatever I had to do to get by. It never seemed like being strong or brave to me; it had always just felt like life.
“Did I say something wrong?” Ryan asked, his hand on my thigh as I pulled into the gravel lot.
“No. This is all new to me, that’s all.”
“I know. It’s new to me too. I haven’t had a girlfriend in years,” he admitted.
A strangled sound came flying out of my mouth. “That can’t be true.”
“I told you.” He smiled. “I’ve been waiting.”
“You are romantic.”
“Told you that too.” He moved to open his door before stopping. “I want you to park back here from now on. I mean, if you ever come to the bar again.”
I let out a quick chuckle. “If I ever come back.”
“Dammit, Sofia. When you come back, park here.”
“Yes, sir.” I gave him a mock salute.
He leaned back into the passenger seat and gave me a soft kiss. “I’ll follow you. Don’t ditch me.”
I grinned. “I won’t.”
The lights to a sporty white Audi lit up and he slid inside. After the engine turned over, I pulled out of the lot, making sure there was enough room between cars for Ryan to turn at the same time I did. Leading him through the streets of Santa Monica, I eventually pulled into my parents’ driveway with him right behind me.
When I exited my car, Ryan got out of his as well.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
