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I think maybe I was hearing things, because she’s not in front of me, and I start to close my eyes again when I hear soft giggling. It strikes me then, pieces all coming together as panic floods my system. Clutching the blanket to my bare chest, I sit up abruptly and turn the other way, wide-eyed.
She’s standing there, right beside where her father is sleeping in the bed. In my bed. Crap, he’s asleep in my bed, not wearing a bit of clothing, the blanket draped over him. Thank goodness he’s covered up—not that it makes this whole thing any better. She’s much too young to know what any of this is, but she’s got one heck of an imagination, that kid, which could prove dangerous.
I don’t want her to get ideas in her head and think this is more than it is… whatever it is.
She pokes his cheek before sticking her finger in his ear, giggling again when he grumbles in his sleep and moves around, flailing his hand, trying to ward off the intrusion.
“Madison,” I hiss, warning her. She pulls her hand away and looks at me with that ‘oh shit’ expression, knowing she’s busted. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing.”
“Doesn’t look like nothing.”
A smile cracks her face.
She does it again, sticking her finger in his ear. His face contorts with annoyance as he shifts position, groaning, “I’m trying to fucking sleep, Ser.”
Maddie gasps, yanking her hand back, looking at him with shock. I feel it, that same sensation stirring in the pit of my gut, but for much different reasons. Ser. Serena. He thinks it’s her. “Daddy says bad words!”
The moment she says that, Jonathan’s eyes snap open. He sits up so fast he rips the blanket right off of me. Gasping, I grab it, scrambling to stay covered, yanking it back onto me and almost exposing him in the process. He looks at me, wide-eyed, panicked, whispering, “oh fuck.”
“See!” Maddie says, reaching over and poking him in the ear. “I heard it!”
He laughs and pushes her hand away as he turns to her. “Sorry, didn’t know there were little ears in the room.”
Grasping her earlobe, he playfully tugs on it.
“Maddie, sweetheart, why don’t you head to the kitchen?” I suggest. “I’ll be there in a second to make you some breakfast.”
She leaves the room, and I try to slip out of bed, but well, I can feel Jonathan’s eyes, and my clothes are too far away to reach. He tries to touch me, his hand on my back, fingertips grazing my spine. I move away from him, taking the blanket with me, wrapping it around my naked body as I snatch up some clothes.
“Kennedy? What’s wrong?”
“Maddie’s waiting for breakfast,” I mumble, going straight for the bathroom. I close the door behind me, letting out a long exhale as I pull on my clothes, grumbling to myself. “Stupid, stupid, stupid... could you be any more stupid? Sleeping with that stupid man after all the stupid crap he’s done... what is wrong with you?”
Yanking the door back open, I nearly slam into a body blocking the doorway, lingering in the hall. He had the sense to put on his pants and is still struggling to button them.
“Excuse me,” I mumble, averting my gaze, but he’s not moving out of my way.
He grasps my arm before I can go past him, his brow furrowed. “Did I do something?”
“I don’t know,” I mumble. “Did you?”
I try to move away from him, but he steps further into my path. “Come on, don’t be that way. Tell me what’s wrong.”
I hesitate. I want to make some snide comment and storm away, throw a tantrum like a petulant child because I feel so stupid, but that’s not me. It’s never been me. So whatever, it is what it is, so I say it, no matter how stupid it sounds. “You called her Ser.”
“What?”
“She woke you up, and you thought she was Serena.”
He lets go of my arm as his expression shifts to something that looks like pity, and I don’t like it.
I leave him there and head for the kitchen, sighing when I see a chair shoved over to the counter, Maddie standing on it, digging through the cabinets. “What do you think you’re doing, little girl?”
“Looking for the Lucky Charms,” she says as I pull her down and set her on her feet.
“I’m afraid we’re all out.” I grab a box of Cheerios. “How about these?”
She makes a face of disgust.
“Raisin Bran?”
Another face.
“How about some cottage cheese?”
She pretends to gag.
“Uh, well, how about—?”
“How about I take you out for breakfast?” Jonathan suggests, stepping into the kitchen. “Pancakes, sausage, eggs…”
“Bacon!” Maddie declares.
“I don’t know,” I say. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, you know, with the whole you being you thing.”
“Me being me,” he says.
