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But at last, the pain fades away completely and he’s all the way inside me, our hips flush against one another, no more room between us. He’s filling me entirely, and I know that this is exactly how things are meant to be. I never want to be any different than this.
He hesitates there only for a moment, lingering before he begins to move again. And if I thought it felt amazing to be filled, to be full of him, then it’s nothing compared to what it feels like to have him moving in and out of me.
We pick up a rhythm, my hips rising to meet his as he thrusts down into me, natural as breathing. Each thrust brings a new level of pleasure, washing over me and hitting all of my nerves, turning me inside out. I feel like I’m on fire like I’m lightning like I am nothing but a sweating and rutting animal, given over to pleasure and nothing else. I feel like this is the true way to be, the truth of life, the only way to live.
Jonas moves faster and thrusts harder, both of us breathing hard and gasping and crying out with every breath, our voices rising together and only seeming to heighten the pleasure. Each brush of his hardness against my inflamed and engorged nerves is like beautiful torture, so pleasurable that I can barely process it. I don't want this to ever stop, but at the same time, I want this to end so we can begin again. Always to begin again.
I want to move, I need to move, and I can’t stop myself even if I tried. I can’t control the sounds that come from my throat or the way my body twitches and jerks against his, seemingly taken over by some outside force. This is everything, all that has ever been and all that will ever be, and it’s right and good and exactly what I should have been doing from the moment that Jonas and I first met.
Except it couldn’t happen until now. I know that to be the absolute truth as well. This, here, now, it’s the right time in the right place for both of us. Everything is coming together, including our bodies, joining us in some irreversible way.
The wave of pleasure builds and builds until I can no longer hold on, and I let go to cry out his name. The pleasure flows through my entire body anew, tingling like sunshine in every extremity, leaving me boneless and out of control, jerking against his hips but then falling back to lay with hardly any concept of what is happening around me. I feel him jerk roughly into my oversensitive body, making me cry out again, and then he is still, filling me with his seed, panting over me as he rests on his forearms.
And I know that I’ve claimed him, and allowed him to claim me, and no matter what every single movie I have ever seen might have warned me about boys, I know that what has happened between us can’t ever be taken away.
Chapter Twenty-One
Jonas
I pull out and flop down beside her, letting the bed take my weight. I’m satiated and warm, but more than anything, I take delight in looking at her face. She is full of the afterglow, so happy and satisfied, and I know I am the one who did that. If I can make her look like that every single day of her life, I think I will have achieved something truly good indeed.
We lay in silence for a long while, our breathing slowing from pants to regular inhalations, our skin cooling from hot and sweaty to ambient. I lazily trace a finger down the side of her body closest to me where she lays on her back. Over her shoulder, down over the peak of her breast and the hill of her nipple, over her ribs and her hip, down her thigh. She shivers under my touch, stirring at last as she turns to look at me.
“Well?” I ask, giving her a slow smile of contentment. “Was it everything you dreamed of and more?”
“And more,” she confirms, shifting slightly to comfortably look back at me. “So much more.”
“No regrets?”
“None,” she says fiercely, then seems to think. “For you?”
“None,” I tell her as I brush her hair back from her face, seeing how her expression calms and relaxes at my confirmation.
“Then,” she says, her hand trailing down my side now, raising goosebumps of desire where it passes. “Perhaps we should try it again… just to be sure.”
“We have to be sure,” I agree, moving over her, claiming her mouth again for myself, and covering her body with mine.
This time, when I enter her there is no hesitation. No need to be slow or soft. Even as I hold back still just a little, aware that I don’t want to hurt her, we can now give in to the natural rhythm. And the rhythm is an easy one to find, flowing between us like water, as natural as the beat of our hearts. It’s like we were always meant to do this, like there has been a pattern written into our very souls from the moment we came into this earth, just waiting for us to find one another.
