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“I’m gonna do it again. Give me a shuttle, or this room and all these weird human suits go boom.”
I bring the zsstzsst stick toward the florbington. If he doesn’t give in here, there’s gonna be another big…
Gotta Get Laid
Brawn
BANG!
The door slams behind me as I step into the chamber to which I have been summoned.
In the wake of the scythkin attack we were left adrift around the pink sun for what felt like a very long time. I had a great deal of time to regret what had happened, to furiously loathe the scythkin, and to restore our ship.
It took far longer than I wanted it to. Every moment of it was an exquisite torture of loss and humiliation. I swore vengeance on the scythkin. I promised myself that I would find my human against all odds.
And then the universe provided.
I received an invitation from a scythkin vessel. They are open to returning Ariel to me. The offer seemed too good to be true, and I considered whether or not it was a trap, but then I decided it did not matter if it was a trap or not. Anything is worth being able to be with her.
It is a humiliation to have lost her. It is worse to find myself in this office where all the furniture is almost comically small. There is a desk and a chair and… it is all human in design and probably in origin. It is not built for my scale.
It is not built to the scale of the scythkin who is sitting behind the desk either. I’ve never seen anything quite so ridiculous in all my life. After attacking my ship and nearly killing me and stealing the love of my existence, this being has the absolute gall to see me alone, to step into this virtual arena with me.
I should kill it.
I should rip its head off.
But I do neither of those things, because there is every chance that this is my last and only chance to reclaim Ariel. This beast knows where she is, and if I kill it, I know very well they will not give me to her. They have an entire universe to hide her in if they want to.
“So. You’d like to claim a human.” The scythkin picks up its clipboard with an officious expression.
“I would. She is my mate.”
“Yes. We are familiar with the unorthodox relationship the pair of you entered into, largely at your behest.”
“She is my mate,” I repeat more furiously this time.
“She is currently the possession of our brood. Whether she is returned to you depends on how this interview goes.”
Suddenly, the desk is crushed into a thousand pieces. Because I just smashed my fists through it, turning cheap chipboard into sawdust.
The scythkin is not impressed. But it is also not afraid. It sits on its chair, clasping the clipboard, and eyeing me with a less than impressed gaze.
“Destroying the furniture will not lead to more positive outcomes for your application, sir. You’ve already proven to be a largely unsuitable mate, let alone caretaker.”
I pace back and forth, trying to control my most violent impulses. If I can get through this interview, I will get my life back.
“How do you feel about this human?”
“She is mine.”
“That is not a feeling, King Brawn. That is a description which could easily be applied to anything from a toaster to a pencil sharpener.”
“She is my… she is…”
“You came all this way and you cannot say that you love her?”
“Love is a human term. My species does not love the way…”
“Well, that sounds like absolute bullshit. Thank you for your time. The exit is the same way you came in.”
I want to tear this entire place apart looking for her. I want to kill every single beast in my way. But I have a feeling that this interview is being held for a reason. I don’t know what the scythkin is playing at, but I do know that there’s zero chance I was called here for no reason. If they haven’t tried to slaughter me yet, they’re probably not going to.
They want me to have my human. But they want me to be indebted to them somehow. They want me to admit my love for her so they have an even greater leverage over me.
“How hard has she been for you to handle?”
The scythkin drops the papers down by his side. “Oh my god. Practically literally absolutely impossible!”
“I thought so. She’s a very high strung human. She’s been through a lot. They used her to hunt criminals on her planet. She used to drive around in a heavy metal box with a projectile cannon, trying to impose laws she barely believed in on people who didn’t want them. Sometimes, they’d try to kill her.”
“That’s no excuse for you to steal her and get her hooked on Daise juice. We took the liberty of detoxing your human. Wouldn’t recommend feeding her come again. Humans addict easily to anything remotely pleasant. They also addict easily to anything unpleasant. They’re basically wired to be addiction machines.”
