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A buzz is building in my head and along my limbs. Not a vibration but a feeling, a tingle, a demand to take this man’s life and make him pay for all the crimes he’s committed. The ones against me and my sister, the ones against Lucas and Nic, and probably countless others. How many lives had he destroyed during his reign over the five families? I fear speculating on the number.
A few heartbeats pass as I look into his eyes. There’s no warmth in his gaze, nothing I recognize from the man I’ve lived with most of my life. I risk a peek at Lucas. There are no visible bullet holes and I sigh in relief.
Nic leans in and whispers in my ear. “You don’t have to do this. I can take care of him for you.”
I shake my head and square off with the gun again. No. I need to do this. I need to make him pay for everything he’s done to me. Tears are pouring down my cheeks, and I don’t bother wiping them away, especially not with the gun in reaching distance of my father.
“She’s too weak,” my father says to Nic or to no one; maybe he just likes to hear himself speak. “You think she’ll be a good bride? She doesn’t even have the stomach to take out a man like me. What if she has to make an actual difficult decision? She won’t have the stomach for it, and you’ll always be shielding her from the hard things.”
My father turns to me next. “You won’t do it. You’re too weak. Your mother will be so ashamed of you. I can’t wait to tell her both of her whore daughters are dead. Maybe she’ll finally fall into that bottle for good and take care of herself before I have to put her out of her misery.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Nic snaps at him, and his grip tightens around mine. “Let me help you do this. I can help you pull the trigger if you need me to. I can do that for you.”
“How fucking sweet,” my father quips.
I glare at him, letting Nic align his body with mine, fit against me so I can lean into him. We have so much fucked up shit between us right now, but I can’t deny whatever is between us has long passed a marriage of convenience or some sort of deal.
“Just a little pressure is all it takes. One shot, and he’s gone and can never hurt you again. You can do this. You can avenge your sister, and my dead brother, and my family with one shot.”
The absolute trust in his tone threatens to rip me open. I sob and then shake myself to clear my head again. A little pressure to end a monster who deserves it more than anyone I’ve ever met.
“Fucking weak. I’m ashamed you’re my blood. Can’t even fucking kill a man when you’re pointing the gun point-blank at his skull.”
Nic barks out next to my ear. “If you don’t shut the hell up, I’m going to remove your limbs and then let her finish you off. She might have a conscience, something you will never understand, but I certainly have no qualms about cutting you up. How long do you think you’ll last before you cry? Before you beg me to end your miserable life to put you out of your misery.”
My hands are shaking as Nic verbally lacerates him. But then he steadies them carefully as it’s a privilege to do so.
Nic whispers just for me again. “Give me the gun, stellina. You don’t have to do this. I’ll make sure he pays for his sins, and you don’t have to feel any less for not being able to do it yourself.”
I take a deep breath and just know that I can’t. There’s no world in which I can pull this trigger and take his life like this. He may be guilty and an asshole. And he definitely deserves to die, but I won’t be the one who does it.
I just can’t.
27
Nic
She can’t kill her father, but I stand behind her and wait for her to realize it on her own. And when we get home, I’ll tell her how proud I am of her for being able to stay above all this shit. Then I will tell her how much I love her, hoping that she feels the same. When I made that deal to make her mine forever, I never considered she might one day feel something like love for me, but now I want her to. It’s never something I thought I deserved, not after the terrible things I’ve done over the years.
Maybe what I’m about to do will atone for my sins.
She gives me a slight shake of her head, and I take the gun from her. I aim it at Ricci’s head, letting Celia step behind me. I don’t want to drag this on any longer. I simply want to end this and take my family home. I pull the trigger.
