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“Fiona. Are you… afraid of me?”
She shook her head as I spoke. “No, Gabe. I’m not. That’s not what this is about. I promise. It’s just me, okay? It’s me.”
I drew my lips inward, pinching them tight against one another. After what just happened between us, this was the last thing I expected.
“Fiona, this is not gonna work.”
She nodded, looking down at the ground. “Okay.”
“What do you mean ‘okay’?”
“I mean okay. If you say it’s not going to work, I’m not going to argue with you, Gabe.”
“So, no more of… this? That’s fine with you?”
Fiona blinked in rapid succession as the tears began to flow with greater frequency. “I-I can’t do this, Gabe. I-I can’t.”
“Do what? Fiona, I still have no idea what you’re talking about. But hey, you know what? If that’s the way you want it, no problem with me.”
No sooner had the words left my lips than Fiona began to sob uncontrollably.
I looked at her. There was a part of me that wanted to console her, because I really didn’t think this was all my fault. But then there was another part of me that wasn’t real fond of being insulted. That was especially true in light of everything I’d done for her up until now, including this trip. Instead, I threw the knapsack across my shoulder and walked right past Fiona. I hadn’t gotten more than five feet from her when she called out.
“Gabe! Where are you going?”
I continued on, my steps unbroken and my pace unchanged.
“To the car, Fiona,” I grunted. “You said you wanted to leave. Go home. Remember?”
Just then, I heard a rapid succession of footsteps close from behind. The bottoms of Fiona’s shoes skidded with jagged fits and stops along the dusty trail.
“Gabe, I-I’m so sorry. Please don’t be angry.”
“Too late.”
“I knew coming here was a mistake,” she began. “I-I knew it…”
As Fiona’s voice trailed off, I stopped cold and spun in place. She’d been so close behind, the abruptness caught her off guard and she bumped into me. Startled, Fiona backed away a step or two.
“You know something, Fiona?” I said, as I scowled at her. “You’re right. It was a mistake. A huge fucking mistake. And you know who made it? I did. Me, Fiona. Do you wanna know why that is?”
Fiona’s eyes widened. I watched as a hard swallow crept down her throat. Her face wrinkled with concern while she bit her lip.
“No. I don’t,” she replied, as she shook her head.
“Simply, it’s because I was wrong about you, Fiona. I hate to admit it, but in this case, I was wrong.”
She looked at me in silence for a moment. As she did, a breeze passed between us, disturbing her hair. She reached up and cleared it free from her eyes as she spoke.
“What… What do you mean?” she stammered. “I thought you liked my work.”
“This isn’t about your work, Fiona. You’re a fine scientist and you’re turning into a great leader. No, this is about Fiona the Woman. That’s what I was wrong about.”
Fiona looked away from me and sniffled for a few moments. It took everything I had inside not to leave her on the hillside. I shook my head in utter disgust.
“Maybe you should quit, Fiona. Spare yourself from the misery of being with me. Please, nothing would make me fucking happier right now. Because this shitty attitude of yours needs to change. You need to appreciate who I am and what I do for you, okay?”
Fiona balled her fists in protest. “I never said I don’t!”
“Well, what the hell am I supposed to think right now, Fiona? For someone who’s so appreciative, you’ve got a funny way of showing it.”
Fiona’s angelic face turned sinister as she barked her response. “Go to hell, Gabe!”
I stepped toward her, hovering the tip of my index finger less than an inch from her chest. “You ever say something to me like that again, I’ll fire you. You got me?”
“Well, if you do… I-I’ll sue you for sexual harassment.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Something had gotten into her. What it was I had no idea, but I also had no intention of standing underneath a blazing hot sun while she made nonsensical threats towards me. I shook my head and made the last statement I would on the matter.
“You’re welcome to try, Fiona. God knows it’s happened plenty of times. With zero percent success rate, so you know.”
Fiona scowled at me as I paused.
“You women, man, you’re all the goddamn same. It’s like you have this innate desire to fuck a good thing up. You know, self-sabotage. Tell you what, I’ll save you the trouble. Now let’s go get in the car and go.”
GABE
The way Fiona and I left things… It didn’t sit well with me.
The truth was that neither of us meant what we said on the hilltop at the resort.
She was pissed, and as much as I hated to admit it, I was reacting to it.
I should have handled the situation differently. It was less about the age difference between us than just knowing that sometimes in life, it’s better to push back from situations when they get too emotional.
Fiona had her mind made up she wanted to leave the resort, probably before we even arrived there. I’d been around the block enough to see the warning signs. I missed them here. That’s all there was to it.
I reached for my phone and dialed Holly.
“Yes, Gabe?”
“Holly my dear, get Fiona up here right away.”
“Yes.”
I placed the phone down in the cradle.
Getting up from my desk, I walked across my office to the well-stocked bar. I kept it for late night negotiations and the like, rarely using it myself. But with the day nearly over and my neck killing me from another sixteen hours of poring over briefs and data, I could use a stiff one.
After grabbing a rocks glass, I reached for the gin, followed soon after by a bottle of tonic water. Lining them up on the bar, I cracked the plastic top of the tonic water open. The hiss of carbonation filled the air as I placed it on the bar in front of me. As it settled, I reached towards the ice maker. Flipping it open, I scooped out enough for half my glass. A few seconds later, I’d added the gin and topped it with the tonic water.
I swirled it in the glass as I walked back across my office. The cubes tinked against one another and into the side of the glass. As I moved towards my desk, there was a knock at my office door.
“Come in.”
As the door swung open, Fiona appeared. After turning and closing the door behind her, she began to walk towards me.
“You know what, Fiona?” I said, as she approached. “Have a seat at the conference table.”
Fiona glanced at me for a moment and nodded her head. I noticed that as she took a seat, her old habit of clutching her sleeves inside her hands had made a return. Carrying my cocktail, I drew near the table and took a sip.
“Would you like something, Fiona?”
She shook her head. “No. No thank you.”
“Suit yourself.”
I pulled out the chair next to her and as I took a seat, I placed my beverage down on the conference table. With my hand wrapped around the ice cold glass, I looked at Fiona in silence for a moment. She returned my gaze and offered me a polite smile.
“Fiona, the reason I’ve asked you to come to my office has nothing to do with the work you’re doing in the lab or with the presentation.”
“No, I figured that.”
“All right, well, do you know why I have asked you here?”
“Yes, I think so,” she began. “Is it because of what happened at the resort?”
“It is, in part. But I think what happened at the resort is a symptom of some underlying issue between us.”
Fiona swallowed hard as I finished my thought. I paused and lifted my cocktail to my lips, taking another healthy swig. After placing it back down on the table, I continued.
“You see, Fiona, I’m having difficulty understanding what the problem is.”
Fiona straightened her arms beneath the table, closing herself off from me a bit.
“Like right now… Can you tell me why you feel the need to do that?”
Fiona exhaled a listless breath, and her shoulders slumped a bit. I watched her as she sat with her thoughts.
“Gabe, I’ve not done a good job of explaining my behavior toward you and that goes doubly true for what happened at the resort.”
I nodded and took another sip of my drink as she continued.
“I’ve just been confused lately, and the last thing I want to do is risk losing my job.”
“Your job is not at risk Fiona,” I began. Placing my hand on the arm of the chair I straightened myself up into an upright posture. “What I’m talking about here has nothing to do with your performance at work. I believe I’ve told you that more than once already. Frankly, I don’t understand why you don’t believe me.”
Fiona nodded and looked away from me. “I know. I don’t know why I don’t believe you either. I’m very sorry for that.”
I leaned back in my chair and draped my elbow over the back of it. “Fiona, is there something else going on? Something else in your life that you want to tell me about?”
“What do you mean?”
