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The professional part of it had me less concerned. The presentation aside, I had enough confidence that the lab work and our contributions to the Link Protocol would be more than sufficient. And even though some hard deadlines were fast approaching, I didn’t see any long term-risks to our progress.
On the other hand, the confidence I had in my emotions was far less reliable.
Obviously, my feelings for Gabe were far beyond what I’d ever experienced for a man. I still hadn’t bothered to discuss them with anyone. When I was with him, even if not in a romantic sense, I felt safe. Yes, he challenged me in ways I never expected. Of course, it was difficult to go through change but far from resenting him for it, I did appreciate it.
And beyond that, deep down, in spite of his outward gruffness at times, I sensed Gabe was a good, caring person. Billions of dollars in net worth aside, only someone who truly cares about the well-being of other people would start a company like Hawkins Biotech.
Oh my God… What the hell am I doing?
Desperate not to leave things in an awkward, intense state between us yet again, I swallowed hard and prepared to clarify myself.
“Gabe… can I please say something?”
“Unless it has something to do with work, Fiona, I’m not interested.”
“Well, it does.”
Gabe made a few more strokes of the pen across the page and then stopped. After placing it down on the stack of paper in front of him, he folded his hands together and nodded.
“Go on.”
I began to walk in the direction of his desk.
“May I sit?” I asked as I gestured towards one of the chairs across from him.
He nodded. “Yes, but make this quick.”
I slid into the chair across from Gabe’s desk. For a brief moment, I reached down to clutch my sleeves in my palms, but at the last instant, I resisted and cleared my throat.
“Gabe, I-I don’t know where to begin.”
Gabe didn’t hesitate. “Look, Fiona, I really don’t have time for this. Say what you gotta say or go.”
“Okay, okay.” I replied. “But, just promise you’ll hear me out.”
Gabe nodded as he looked at me. “Of course. Go ahead.”
Reaching up, I crossed my hands at my chest. “Gabe I just want you to know how much I respect and admire what you’re doing with the Link Protocol and with medicine, in general. I think you are a visionary and that the work we are doing here will positively impact the lives of millions of people.”
Gabe waved me off. “Fiona, I’m not looking for an ego stroking here, okay? I appreciate it, but it’s not necessary.”
“I know that,” I began. I inched forward in my seat, tilting my upper body towards him. “Just please, let me finish.”
Gabe shook his head once or twice and leaned back in his chair. “No, Fiona. I don’t have time right now. Look, there’s a lot to do and not much time left. I’m frustrated with you right now, yes, but nothing more. Let’s leave discussions about what’s going on between us for a later time. All right?”
As soon as he finished speaking, I felt a strange mix of disappointment and relief. Disappointment in the fact that he’d stopped me before I could tell him how I felt, but at the same time, relief in the sense that my frustrations apparently hadn‘t damaged our relationship.
“Yes, okay.” I said.
“Is there anything else right now, Fiona?”
I shook my head and prepared to get up from the chair. “No. Not right now.”
“Okay then.” Gabe said.
Reaching for the arms of the chair, I began to push myself into a standing position, when all of a sudden Gabe snapped his fingers.
“Oh!” he began, as he flipped through several pieces of paper on his desk. “I forgot to mention something about the clinical trial data that we’ve been getting back…”
“Oh, yes?” I replied.
Gabe licked his fingertips and gestured for me to wait as he continued to thumb through the stack of paper on his desk. I could tell from his expression that whatever the news was, it excited him.
“Well, now I’m intrigued.” I said.
Without lifting his head, Gabe glanced up at me. “You should be… Oh, here we go.”
After locating the information he’d been searching for, Gabe spent the next several minutes explaining that the trials had uncovered something remarkable… a possible novel usage for cancer treatment.
In essence, the treatment worked by robbing the cancer cells of what they need to thrive and multiply. For lack of a better term, the cancer cells would starve to death. This was all hypothetical, of course, but the possibility did exist. Even so, the clinical trials were in their early stages and so any experimental treatments were still a long way off.
Obviously, I thought about my grandmother. Surely someone with her advanced illness would be able to participate. However, unless by some miracle that came to pass in the next six months, it would be far too late for her.
About the only thing that would give her more time would be another round of chemotherapy. I hadn’t anticipated this turn of events. But if there was any chance that the protocol could be adapted for possible treatment, it wouldn’t matter if she wasn’t around to receive it. Maybe this news would be the push she needed to go once again.
After Gabe finished telling me, a completely random thought popped into my head. Exciting though it was, it seemed odd he’d mentioned the news to me. Could he know about my grandmother somehow? I hadn’t told Gabe anything about my personal life. What’s more, he hadn’t asked.
Even so, he had my curiosity piqued.
“Why are you telling me this, Gabe?”
“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t I?”
“No, I mean the possible cancer treatment application. That’s not information you needed to share.”
“Of course it is, Fiona. You’d be the first one who ought to know. Especially in your situation.”
I swallowed. “My situation?”
“Yes,” Gabe said with a slow nod of his head. “You’re the one giving the presentation, remember? If there’s any possibility, however remote it might be, to discuss the Link Protocol in the framework of cancer treatment, you can bet your ass you’ll be doing it.”
“Of course,” I replied, as I realized he didn’t know about my grandmother after all. “Right.”
“You can handle it, Fiona. Trust me, I’ll brief you on it personally if need be.”
He winked at me as he finished speaking.
“Oh, I see.”
Gabe nodded and leaned back in his chair. The icy demeanor he’d displayed towards me minutes earlier before began to soften.
“Yes,” he said with a smirk as he interlocked his fingers across his chest. “It’s been a while since you’ve had a good briefing. And I know just the place to do it…”
I felt the hint of a smile curl in at the corner of my mouth. “I’m sure you do. May I inquire as to where that might be?”
“St. Barths,” Gabe replied without hesitation. “Gorgeous fucking place… In the Caribbean. Ever been?”
“Gabe, you’ve seen where I live. What do you think?”
Gabe nodded and leaned forward in his chair. “You’ll love it. You couldn’t hope for a better place to have the presentation. All the investors will be there, relaxing and having a good time. Trust me, you’ll float through the presentation.”
“Oh, so the presentation is in… St. Barths?”
“Yes,” he said with a nod. “Is that a problem?”
I shook my head and lied. “No.”
So now, not only did I have to finalize all the lab work and nail down the highlights for the presentation, but I had to somehow arrange someone to care for my grandmother while I was gone.
Since the accident years ago, we’d never been apart. Not more than twenty-four hours in over a decade. I shuffled in my seat as uncertainty about what I’d tell her and how I’d make this happen flooded my thoughts.
“Everything all right, Fiona? I thought you’d be happy about getting to travel.”
“What?” I said, still half-trapped in the myriad of decisions I’d have to make. “What did I say?”
“Well, you didn’t say anything. You just seem uncomfortable about doing it.”
“I don’t get to travel much. I’m not crazy about flying.”
“Well, you’re not flying coach, honey. Trust me. You’ll love it.”
GABE
After Fiona left my office, I realized how nice it was to see a smile on her face again.
With any luck, giving her something like the trip to St. Barth’s to look forward to might perk her spirits up. I felt as if I’d been even-handed and fair with Fiona since she came to work here. Even so, the banter we’d shared when we met had all but vanished in recent weeks.
I only caught glimpses of it now.
Gone was the shy but feisty woman I met at the bar that night. She hadn’t been afraid to engage in a bit of back and forth with me then, but now it was as if she was shadow of her former self.
Something didn’t add up. She had everything she could have wanted out of this situation, and more. She was making terrific money, doing work she loved, and putting her career on a trajectory most people her age would be thrilled to have.
