AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She didn’t say anything for a moment, then, still not looking at him, she said softly, “It’s deceiving.”
He glanced at her sharply, puzzled by the peculiar comment. “What do you mean?”
Again, she was silent for a moment, as if she were struggling to get the words out. “The quiet can fool you,” she said finally. He saw her swallow hard. “It fooled me.”
Rick sensed that she was on the verge of telling him about it, whatever it was, but she was having a difficult time of it. Suddenly he didn’t think it was another guy back home. It was something worse. Something was really bothering her. Something had happened and she was scared.
“Chris,” he said, gently prompting her, “why did you come back here?”
She hesitated, moistening her lips. Her mouth had gone suddenly dry. “To prove something to myself,” she said at last. “To prove I’m stronger than I think I am.”
“What about us?” Rick said.
“I’m here with you,” she said, looking at him intently. “Can’t that be enough for now?”
“I don’t know,” said Rick, his frustration mounting. She seemed about to tell him, but suddenly she backed off again. “I mean, I don’t see you for months on end, and when I do, you put this barrier between us. How do I break though?”
She sighed heavily. “You’re right,” she said. “I should have told you everything a long time ago, but I just couldn’t.” She bit her lower lip and shook her head, looking away from him. She looked as if she was about to cry.
“Look, Chris,” he said, “you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.”
“I want to,” she said, looking at him earnestly. “I want you to know what happened so you’ll understand.”
She looked away from him and stared out at the water. She was afraid to tell him, afraid that he wouldn’t understand, but she could not go on any longer without telling him about it. It wasn’t fair. She owed him at least that much.
“Everything is so clear in my mind,” she said, “as if it were happening right now.” She shut her eyes a moment, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “I don’t know if you remember,” she said, “but when you dropped my off that night, it was very late. I knew my parents would be waiting up for me. But I didn’t care. We’d had such a good time.”
She sighed again and looked at him briefly before looking away once more. He was watching her intently, allowing her to proceed at her own pace, just listening and not commenting. He was doing his best to make it easier for her. Maybe he really would understand, she thought. Maybe he won’t blame me, as my parents did. The thought made it a little easier for her to go on. Now that she had started, she had to tell the whole story and it simply came spilling out of her.
“The minute I got in the door,” she said, “they started yelling at me and cursing me. We had such a big fight. My mom slapped me. That was the first time my mother had ever hit me. I couldn’t believe it. I ran out the door and into the woods. I wanted to punish them. I decided to hide out all night. I’d get them so worried that they’d be sorry for what they did.”
Her voice caught and she took another deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. Talking about it was bringing it vividly into focus. Rick took hold of her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She continued.
“It had been raining out and the woods were cold and wet. I found a dry spot under an oak tree and I guess I fell asleep. All I can remember next is being startled out of
sleep by the sound of footsteps. I was sure it was Dad, so I sat up and listened for him.”
She began to tremble.
“The footsteps stopped,” she said, her heart beating faster as she relived it in her mind. Her mouth felt dry. Her skin was clammy. “Then I heard this crackling noise behind me. I turned around and standing there was this hideous-looking man . . . so grotesque he was almost inhuman. He . . . he had a knife and . . . and he attacked me with it!”
Tears started down her face as she gripped Rick’s hand with a fierce intensity but avoided looking at him. She felt herself shaking and she fought to keep her voice steady. I’ve got to tell it, she thought desperately, I’ve got to, this is part of it, I’ve got to face what happened . . .
“I . . . I was so hysterical, I don’t know how I was even able to think,” she said, her voice trembling as she blinked back the tears, but they were running freely now, making long, moist trails down her cheeks. “But I kicked the knife out of his hands and I ran.” She gulped, forcing herself to go on. “But he ran after me and pulled me down to the ground. I was kicking and screaming, but it didn’t do any good. Then . . . oh, God . . . then he dragged me by the hair along the ground . . . And I . . . I blacked out . . . I just don’t know what happened after that. I—just—don’t—know!”
She broke down, sobbing uncontrollably, burying her face in Rick’s shoulder as he gently pulled her close and stroked her hair. He had an agonized expression on his face as he understood for the first time why she had stiffened every time he tried to touch her, what it must have been like for her to be assaulted like that and not know what happened, suspecting the awful truth, wanting to know and, at the same time, being terrified of knowing.
“It’s all right,” he said softly, stroking her hair gently, feeling her pain. “You’re all right now.”
He held her until she cried herself out and pulled away, taking deep breaths as she tried to calm herself. She wiped her eyes and smiled at him weakly, grateful beyond words for this understanding.
“When I woke up, I was in my own bed,” she continued, holding on to his hands. She shook her head. “My parents never said a word about it. They act as if the whole thing never happened. But it did.”
And they knew it too, she thought, and they blamed her for it and never forgave her, either. They acted as though what she put them through, which was, of course, the way they would have thought of it, could possibly compare with an experience as terrible as the one she’d had, so terrible that her mind had blocked it out.
“All I want to do is just forget it,” she said, “but I can’t. I’ll never forget that horrible face! Never!”
The headlights on the car suddenly went out and she jerked as if struck.
