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Subject:
Billy’s ear
Billy came home from football last night wearing only one ear. Does anyone have Billy’s other ear? It was VERY clearly labelled and I would appreciate its prompt return.
12.45 p.m. Tee hee.
Sender:
Nicolette Martinez
Subject:
Re: Billy’s ear
Some parents appear to think that the boys taking care of their own property and the parents clearly labelling it is a matter for amusement. It is actually important for their development as self-reliant individuals. Perhaps if it was their child’s shoes which were missing they would take a different view.
12.50 p.m. Oh no, oh no. Have offended Class Mother and probably horrified everyone else as well. Will send direct mass apology.
Sender:
Bridget Billymum
Subject:
Atticus’s shoes, Billy’s ears, etc.
I’m sorry, Nicorette. I was trying to write and bored and just joking. Am very bad.
12.55 p.m. Gaaah!
Sender:
Nicolette Martinez
Subject:
Bridget Jones
Bridget – Possibly the misspelling of my name was a Freudian slip. I think we all know you struggle with the occasional smoking lapse. If it was intentional it was hurtful and rude. Perhaps we need to talk all this through with the head of Pastoral Care.
NicoLette
Shit! I called her Nicorette! Look. Don’t dig yourself in further. Just leave it now and concentrate!
1.47 p.m. This is ridiculous! I’m just COMPLETELY blocked.
1.48 p.m. All the class mothers hate me and Roxster has not replied.
1.52 p.m. Slumped at kitchen table.
1.53 p.m. Look. No going over to the dark side. Grazina the Cleaner will be here any second and she can’t see me like this. Will leave a note re insect plague and go to Starbucks.
2.16 p.m. In Starbucks now with ham-and-cheese panini. Right.
3.16 p.m. Huge gaggles of posh mothers with prams have taken cafe over, talking really loudly about their husbands.
3.17 p.m. Is so noisy in here. Hate people who talk on their phones in cafes – ooh, phone, maybe Roxster!
