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His heart matches, in firm rhythm.
We’re so very alive,
And together.
Our arms and legs tangle.
Our eyes meet and hold.
His stare into mine as he slides inside,
Then out.
I clutch his shoulders,
To hold him close.
He shudders,
The moonlight spills from the window,
Onto my skin,
And his.
His eyes, framed by thick black lashes, close.
He sleeps.
But he wakes in the night and we’re together again, and again and again.
Each time it’s new,
Each time is reverent and raw and amazing.
In the morning, as he is bathed in sunlight, Dare finally looks away. Shame in his eyes, guilt in his heart.
“Sometimes, I wish I could just go away, and everyone would be better for it, and we’d never have to go through this again.”
“Don’t say that,” I breathe. “You’re the only thing keeping me sane.
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” he tells me, and his voice is rather hard. “I’m the one keeping you insane. We’re in a loop, you and I. And it’s never going to get better because neither of us will give in.”
“What loop?” I ask, confused, but Dare looks away.
“It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I don’t deserve you. Can you see why?”
His voice is almost fragile.
You’re better than I deserve.
He’s said it before, over and over, and I never knew what he meant.
I’m not better than he deserves, not by a long shot, not ever.
He sits straight up in bed.
“Go check Finn’s room,” he tells me and his voice is tired. I look at him because Finn is dead and he knows it.
