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The walls around me pulse and hum and growl,
There’s savagery here, there’s grace.
But above all, there’s oblivion and no matter what I do, I will be sucked into it.
I know it.
I feel it.
I’m crazy.
“Are you ready? she asks and we nod, because we aren’t but it doesn’t matter.
She nods and the flames lap, and the words start,
One for one for one.
I fall backwards from the precipice
into oblivion.
The endless
Endless oblivion.
Chapter One
The room swirls white and medicinal, filled with beeps and blank walls and cold skin. Goosebumps chase each other in confusion up my arm, and I gulp hard.
I’m in a hospital.
I’m cold.
I’m afraid.
My dead brother stares at me, his pale blue eyes evasive as he skirts my question. I ask it again.
“Finn, where’s Dare?”
I ask him stiltedly, each word a sword that stabs my heart, because doom invades this room, in every inch, every breath, every moment.
Finn looks away, at the wall, at the floor, at anything but me.
“Dare is….you know where he is, Calla.”
I don’t, though, and that’s the unbearable thing.
My eyes flutter closed and the last thing I see is the white hospital blanket that covers me. I close my eyes against reality, and Finn picks up my hand.
“Cal, you’ve twisted everything around in your head until you don’t know what is real, and what is not. You know where Dare is. You know what is real. You’ve just got to think. You’ve got to face it.”
This hurts, and I hate it.
“I…can’t.” My words are limp, falling onto the bed, tumbling to the floor.
Finn stares at me, into my eyes, into my heart. It pierces me, it grabs me with both hands and doesn’t let go.
“Calla, you can. You’re not me, you’re you. And that’s ok. That’s who you need to be. Please, for the love of God, come back. Just come back.”
