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I can’t even answer. My legs are shaky, my mind is spinning. But as I come back to myself, as my thoughts form logically together again, as the sun hangs heavy in the sky, with the oranges and reds on the water, something comes to me. Something Dare said in the heat of the moment, exact words that I’ve heard before in my dreams.
You’re better than I deserve.
Chapter Twenty-One
My swollen lips part and I stare at him, at the face I love, at the lips that just spoke words from my dream.
It’s impossible.
Yet it’s not.
“You…there’s something…” my voice trails off and he looks at me questioningly, a smile l
ingering on his lips, the after effects of something beautiful.
Something that’s now tarnished by ugliness.
By confusion.
“You said I’m better than you deserve,” I say shakily, not wanting to speak the truth, because the truth sounds crazy. “Why would you say that?”
He shrugs. “Because you’re soft and honest and beautiful. You’re better than I deserve.”
“But why?” I demand persistently, refusing his answer. “You must have a reason.”
He shakes his head, still staring, still questioning.
“It doesn’t make sense,” I tell him.
“Life doesn’t make sense sometimes, Cal,” is his only reply. He takes his hand away now, the warmth gone from me, and my fingers turn instantly cool with the breeze.
It’s his turn to examine me, to study me in the breeze.
“Do you feel ok?” he asks hesitantly. “Are you… do you… you seem different.”
I shake my head. “I’m just the same. I just… those words stood out to me somehow, like I’ve heard them before, like you’ve said them before.”
If I didn’t know better, I’d say he turns pale. He shakes his head slowly, with such a strange expression on his face.
“Do you know why?” he asks strangely, an odd glint in his eye, his beautiful lips pulled tight.
“No. Do you?”
He gives me a droll look. “Why would I know your mind?” he asks vaguely, but his face tells a different story as an expression that puts my nerves on edge floods his face.
“How cryptic,” I murmur.
He shakes his head. “I’m not trying to be. It’s just… I thought… never mind. You’ve got enough to worry about right now without adding more to it.”
“Everyone has secrets,” I say blankly, my heart numb. He nods.
“Yeah. I guess.”
My blood is ice, my heart is heavy, my very being filled with terror and foreboding, when just a scant moment ago, I was filled with exquisite belonging. It’s been shattered now, by the sheer expression on Dare’s face.
“What are yours?” I ask calmly. “Your secrets, I mean. What are they, Dare? You’re hiding something and I know it. Just tell me.”
He looks sad as he looks away from me, and that terrifies me even more. My heart picks up a little as I wait, pounding in my chest, echoing in my temples.
