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I slapped my hand over my mouth and tried to become one with the corner. Had I really just said that out loud? Oh. My. God!

Movement on the bed stopped, and I swear, everyone in the room was holding their breath.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Beaverton bellowed from on top of SSF, and I looked their way, certain I was going to see them both staring back at me.

I may have peed in my pants a little.

But when I opened my eyes, he was glaring down at her.

“That I burn for you?” SSF said uncertainly, and I realized that she’d been so caught up in the moment that she hadn’t heard what I’d said, but Beaverton had.

“You have fucking gonorrhea?” Beaverton shouted, and got off of her like a man on fire.

“What?” SSF screeched. “No I don’t!”

“Bullshit. Why’d you say that then?”

“I was trying to make you hot, you know, get you there.”

“You’ve got a sick sense of humor,” he said, grabbing his pants and putting them on as he backed out of the door. “Get dressed and get the fuck out.”

“Wait? What?” SSF cried, obviously confused. She jumped up and followed after him, and I heard her say, “I don’t have gonorrhea. I had herpes once, but they went away.”

Jesus, I needed to get out of there. And, I probably needed to tell Eric to get checked for herpes…

I made sure my kids had dinner and were doing their homework, threw a few hot Cheetos in my mouth, and thanked Shannon for helping me out with the kids.

“Anytime, Lila, you know that. I love Elin and Elena,” Shannon said sweetly, then laid a hand on my arm and added, “I’m glad you and Bea made up. You know we weren’t trying to hurt you.”

“I know,” I said, feeling small and guilty. “And I’m sorry I acted like such a jerk. I’m over-the-moon happy for you guys.”

“Thanks,” Shannon replied, beaming.

“Well, I’d better get going.”

“Okay, but, Lila, I won’t bring up where you went or what you’re doing, but if Bea asks, I won’t lie to her.”

“I know,” I said, then gave her a quick hug before leaving for Carmen’s place.

Carmen lived in these super cute lofts downtown. She was single with no kids or pets, so the space was perfect for her. Plus, it was walkable to work, restaurants, bars, and just about everything downtown.

Sometimes, when the sound of kids fighting surrounded me, housework needed to be done, and I needed to figure out what to do for dinner, I thought about Carmen’s life and yearned for it.

I parked in the garage and took the elevator up, swinging the short blonde wig in my hand as I checked myself over in the floor-to-ceiling mirror. Short, tight skirt, low-cut revealing top, and heavy makeup, paired with dressy flats. Not my best look, but I thought it fit what I was going for.

My hair was already tied back and secured, so I placed the wig on my head and pulled it this way and that, until it was positioned correctly on my head.

Wow, I looked like a totally different person.

I positioned myself in front of Carmen’s door, hip thrust out in what was supposed to be a sexy pose, and knocked three times.

Carmen opened the door, looked me up and down, and asked, “How much for two hours?”

I started giggling, breaking character, then asked, “Is that what you’re wearing?”

Carmen looked down at her dark print romper, her messy bun flopping to the side with the movement.

“Yeah, why?”

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