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I had shorty doing all type of bad shit for me. She was sneaking me out of my cell so that we could go somewhere and fuck, and she was the one who had gotten me this Android phone; she was basically giving me the special treatment. Raynell was a good girl, but I was turning shorty the fuck out. She started working here about a year ago, and I believe the worst thing that could have happened to her was meeting me. I knew I wasn’t any good for her.
As much as I wanted to let her go sometimes, because if she were to get caught, she would be thrown in a cell just like I was, I just couldn’t. I had become so used to our little thing. That little thing where she would come scoop me out of my cell, pretending that I was going to see the nurse, but in actuality, we would sneak somewhere, and she would give me the fuck of a lifetime. I was in this bitch for the rest of my life, which meant that if I didn’t keep fuckin’ Raynell, I wasn’t going to get pussy again a day of my life.
The prison where I was, we didn’t have the luxury of having conjugal visits, so the most I got out of my girl was a tongue kiss, and when she wasn’t acting all scary, she would let me finger her under the table. That was only when she would come and visit me by herself though. I knew what Jashae’s pussy looked, tasted, even felt like, so on visitation day, I would want nothing else in the world than for her to let me slip up inside it, but Jashae wasn’t on that shit.
All the niggas that I fucked with in there knew how to get by on the officers. We all knew about going behind that wall in the visitation room for a little quickie, but no matter how many times I tried to convince Jashae to do it, she would never agree.
“Your bitch and your son are here,” was the first thing that Raynell said when she walked into the cell.
She was in her brown, correctional officer uniform that fit good as hell on her body. No woman that I’ve seen in this uniform could wear that shit like Raynell. She had a tiny waist and some wide hips with a fat ass on her. If I had to guess, I would think she was about 5’6”, maybe one hundred and fifty pounds. Her ass and her titties made up a lot of her weight. Because the women had to usually wear their hair up, today she had her thick hair pulled back into a bun. With her hair pulled back, you got to see the youthfulness of her face because she was only twenty-seven, while I was thirty-two.
“Ay, watch your fuckin’ mouth. You’re my bitch! The woman out there is my girl, the mother of my child, all of that. If you don’t want to be tasting the bottom of my shoe, you will watch your mouth.” I grilled her ass.
We had a little mirror inside the cell that honestly wasn’t big enough for you to see shit, but I still worked with what I had, just to make sure that I looked good for my girl. I was now rocking a bald head, and I was dressed in the gray sweatsuit that they afforded us along with some sneakers that I cleaned up nicely last night with a toothbrush and some soap. I looked as good as my circumstances would allow me to.
“Wow! Just the other day she was all type of bitches, but now you find yourself having some respect for her. I swear you’re a fuckin’ joke,” she said with a roll of those big ass eyes of hers.
“Yeah, well you fuckin’ the shit out of this joke! I can call her every bitch in the fuckin’ world, but you can’t. Let’s go. I don’t want to keep my family waiting,” I said and slapped her on her ass then walked out of the cell.
I’ll admit, I had a really bad habit of voicing the frustrations that I had with Jashae to Raynell. Jashae not coming to see me two weeks ago when I was expecting her presence had me pissed like a motha fucka, so the next day, I ended up giving Raynell an earful. I called Jashae everything except a child of God. I was over that now, though, because she was here now. I walked with Raynell behind me like I owned this bitch. Like I was back in the hood, walking down my old projects, niggas hollered out Trip, as they stood up in their cells, hands hanging on the cell gates like we were fuckin’ animals.
I don’t care what no one says, the moment you enter a prison, you lose any right of being a fuckin’ human being. We get treated like animals in this bitch, especially when we have to go to solitary confinement. We get handed our food up under the fuckin’ door like we’re dogs. We’re locked up inside a little ass room for twenty-three hours out of the fuckin’ day. I hated this shit, man.
My girl thought that a nigga was insensitive when it comes to her feelings, but the truth is, if I ever beg Jashae to come and see about a nigga, it’s because I need her ass. Two weeks ago, when I was damn near begging Jashae to come and see me was because a day before that, I had thoughts of suicide. Being behind these walls can turn the hardest of the hardest nigga soft. I missed my motha fuckin’ family. One wrong mistake, and I had to pay for this shit with my life.
Anyone who knows me knows that I would never harm a child. Yeah, I’ve told a few bitches here and there to get an abortion, but nothing worse than that. That little girl, Bria, that I murdered, I swear that wasn’t my intention. I was going after her bitch ass daddy. My wild, ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude is what landed me in this bitch. I should have made sure the nigga that I was gunning for was inside the house before I just started shooting. I turned myself in because the police were going to pick me up regardless.
It crossed my mind to go on the run with my girl, but if we were to get caught, they would have taken Jashae down with me, and I was too real of a nigga to put my girl in a position like that. I wasn’t okay with the fact that I’d murdered a little girl. Nobody knew about the fucked-up nightmares that I had in the middle of the night, where Bria would be standing over me with blood all over her body, screaming and crying to me, asking me why I took her away from her family. What about the dreams that I had of niggas busting in my girl’s house and murdering her and my son?
My depression and anxiety were real. I thought that I was the better man by stepping up to the plate and telling the detectives that it was my gun that killed Bria, but that fuck ass judge still ended up giving me life.
It took us about three more minutes to mak
e it to the visitation room. My eyes worked well, so I scanned the big ass room until they finally landed on Jashae and Vonte. When Jashae saw me, the biggest smile formed on her beautiful ass face, making my cold heart turn warm. I didn’t deserve that fuckin’ woman, I swear I didn’t. I have been back and forth with this woman since we were kids, man. She could literally have any man in the fuckin’ world, yet she was slumming this shit out with me.
I had to be selfish in this situation, though. I couldn’t let Jashae go even if I tried. You can’t be from Miami and say that you didn’t know that Jashae was my girl. Any nigga who would try to get with her would be doing that shit as some type of get back on me, or they obviously didn’t value their life because if I even hear from somebody that she was entertaining the next dude, it was lights out for them with just one simple phone call.
Jashae looked the same way she did back in high school, just more mature. She always had that long ass hair, and she would lay her head on me at night, take my hand from wherever it was, and force a nigga to massage her scalp. Jashae was short, maybe 5’4”, with a little frame on her, but her ass poked out, depending on the type of jeans that she wore. She had some beautiful ass chocolate skin with a pair of light brown eyes. Nice, white teeth, with that one deep dimple in her left cheek.
Today, she was plainly dressed in a denim shirt with matching denim jeans and a pair of Gucci tennis shoes on her feet. Jashae knew that I was a sucker for seeing her with her hair straightened, so that’s how she rocked it, with it hanging down past the middle of her back. Our handsome son was standing beside her, towering over her little ass. He was every bit of me, but he was so much better than me, even when I was his age.
At seventeen, I had barely graduated high school because I rarely went. All I wanted to do was stand on the corner and push dope, be a part of a gang, and participate in robberies. At that time, Vonte was two, so every bad thing that I was doing, I convinced myself that I was doing it to get money so I could buy him shit like pampers, but actually, I was doing the shit because I wanted to.
Once I was close enough to them, I walked over to my girl. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I lifted her up in my arms. I could give two fucks about the no touching rule. I hadn’t seen her beautiful ass in weeks, so I was going to take advantage of it.
“Young!” one of the lame ass male security guards yelled when he saw how close I was up on Jashae.
She was in my arms, and my hands were glued to her ass, so to him, we were damn near fuckin’. I could tell that his ass didn’t get any pussy after a long day’s work. His name was Officer Hamilton, and he took his job way too fuckin’ serious. I hated when he was the one over visitation. When my boy, Officer Fisher, was running visitation, he’d allow me to have my tongue all down Jashae’s throat and wouldn’t trip about the shit either.
Jashae kissed my lips about three times, and then I finally put her back on her feet. I went over to my son, hugged him, kissed the top of his head, and then we all sat down.
“I see you remembered how to find a nigga. I haven’t seen you in two weeks,” was the first thing I said to Jashae when we all sat down.
She was sitting on the same bench as I was since she couldn’t be out of my personal space whenever we were around each other, while Vonte sat on the other bench that was in front of us.
“It could have been a week, but I guess you had someone else on the visitation list to come and see you last weekend,” she shot with a smirk on her face and a roll of her eyes.
You see, Jashae didn’t know that I was fuckin’ with other bitches behind her back, but she threw out little shit here and there, that led me to believe that she knew something. Just like a while back on the phone, when she said something about a bitch smuggling a phone in here for me. Like, how the fuck did she even know that?
