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“I paid almost seven hundred dollars to rent this tux, and his ass is just going to throw it on the damn floor like that!” I talked to myself out loud after seeing the tux that he wore last night on the floor next to his dirty clothes hamper.
I finished putting the clean clothes away in his drawer, and then I walked over to the tux to pick it up off the floor. When I picked up the bottoms, something fell out of it. I quickly dropped the pants back on the floor and picked up what had just dropped out of it. Ten weeks and three days, with the name Taylor Davidson is what caught my eye.
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no,” I kept saying over and over.
“Nooooooo!” I screamed, getting so mad that I’d kicked the bottom of the dresser with my foot.
In the midst of me screaming, I heard the front door chime, indicating that Vonte was back in the house. Like my ass was on fire, I ran out of the room and down the stairs.
“GIOVONTE!” I screamed his name as I ran down the stairs.
“What’s up, Ma? Ima wash your car in a second. I just have to get the stuff out of the garage,” he said.
At the same time, he eased toward the kitchen because that’s where my grandma was now. Vonte knew what he was doing because he looked up and saw the ultrasound picture inside my hands. I ran for his ass, but he ran to the kitchen, almost knocking my grandma out the way.
“Jashae, what the hell is going on?” my grandma asked.
The whole time, I was trying to get to Vonte, but he was running away.
“Giovonte, stop fuckin’ playing with me! Come here!” I yelled.
We were now by the island and were basically running around it. The fact that I was so angry about this and I had to chase his ass around the house just to get to him wasn’t doing anything but further infuriating me.
“Ma, I was going to tell you! I swear I was going to tell you. Damn, why you going through my clothes?” he had the nerve to ask me.
I was still trying to catch up with his ass.
“Because I buy your fuckin’ clothes so I can go through them. When I get you, I’m fuckin’ you up! Why the hell would you do this? Did you not think about your future, Giovonte? Come here right fuckin’ now!” I yelled again, still trying to catch him.
I tripped over the legs on the bar stool that we’d managed to push away from the island with all that running that we were doing. I fell flat on my ass, and this boy had the nerve to smirk. I knew he wanted to laugh, but he wouldn’t dare do it in my face. I was crying. Not because of the fall, but because the one thing that I prayed my son wouldn’t do, he went ahead and did it anyway. He finally stopped running, and when he made his way over to me, I lost it. Hits and slaps were landing everywhere.
“Why the hell would you do this? Why? What is wrong with you?” I cried.
When I was thirteen years old, and I’d gotten pregnant, I couldn’t for the life of me understand why it had made my grandmother so emotional. For years, I questioned that. Now, that I was put into that same situation, the only difference is it was my seventeen-year-old son, so I knew exactly how she felt.
“I’m sorry, Mama. Damn, I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I was going to wait until after the championship. She said she was on the pill, man,” he yelled in his defense.
I could hear my grandmother off in the distance suck her teeth.
“So fuckin’ what? I told you to protect yourself at all fuckin’ times. What about diseases? Her being on the pill can’t keep your dick from falling the fuck off! You just witnessed last night what having a baby at a young age can deprive you of. At thirty years old, I went to my first homecoming dance last night. Giovonte, you know firsthand how I struggled with you. Just get away from me right now. Go!” I yelled.
“I’m sorry, Ma,” he said again.
“Go, Giovonte! Right now!” I yelled.
I was an emotional wreck; crying, yelling, all of that. I’ve never in my life been so damn disappointed in Giovonte. I really thought he would be the one to stop the cycle of having babies at a young age in this family, but I was wrong. For weeks, I’ve been questioning why the hell he’s been acting so damn distant, and the truth finally came out tonight. Wow!
“That’s still your son at the end of the day, Jashae. As pissed off as I was with you, you were still my granddaughter,” my grandma said, coming over and sitting next to me on this cold ass floor.
The ultrasound was still in my hands, and I was still crying.
“I know that, Ma. Damn, I’m so angry with him. I was trying to avoid this. He knows better. Trip and I preach this shit to him all the damn time,” I said with my head in my hands, feeling like I’d failed as a mother.
My grandmother wasn’t saying anything; she just allowed me this time to get my emotions out and speak on the way that I was feeling. We must have sat on that kitchen floor for at least an hour. Every time I would stop crying, I would look back down at the ultrasound in my hands, and I would be crying yet again. I had no words. As disappointed as I was with Giovonte, that was still my son, so I had no choice but to continue loving him despite what we now had to face.
9:35 P.M.
That had to have been the best shower that I’d ever taken in my entire life. I stood under some scorching hot water that probably would have burned the hell out of anyone else who didn’t too much care for hot water, and I let the water just run down my body until it turned cold. I washed my hair while I showered, and now I felt refreshed. I had a red, terry cloth wrapped around my body, another towel wrapped around my head, since my hair was still wet, and a face mask on my face, as I did my nightly skin routine. I couldn’t stomach any food right now, so I didn’t even bother to cook anything tonight, let alone order.
